


Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago

by DanversxLuthorx



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Lena Luthor, College, Everyone is a little bit gay, Everyone knows they are in love BUT them, F/F, Kara just wants to have sex, Lena Luthor knows Kara Danvers has powers, Oral Sex, Strap-Ons, Top Kara Danvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23948497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanversxLuthorx/pseuds/DanversxLuthorx
Summary: Kara thought college was going to be the best time of her life before she realised two things. One, she couldn't have sex because she was worried about hurting someone and two, she was maybe a little bit gay and a little bit in love with her best friend.And if said best friend offered to help her out, who was she to say no?
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 59
Kudos: 1352





	Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this is just a mess.
> 
> POV changes throughout

Kara made her way across the almost completely empty library to the table she knew her best friend always sat. It was late, hence the lack of students, and when Kara received a message complaining about how the vending machine had run out a certain kind of snack, she knew she had to save Lena before she fell asleep in the library… again.

As she got closer, Kara could make out the back of Lena’s head, her hair messy from clenching and unclenching it in concentration. Kara could already tell she’d had a stressful night.

Instead of saying hello, she dropped two bags of Mike and Ike’s right on top of Lena’s notes.

“Jesus Kara,” Lena jumped, bringing her hand to her chest, “you scared the shit out of me.”

“Thought you could use a snack, have you even had dinner yet?”

Lena gave her a look as if to say _you already know the answer to that ._

Kara didn’t exactly know when she and Lena had gotten to be like this. It was as if one day they were complete strangers and the next, they suddenly knew everything about each other.

They first met when they were sixteen. It was the beginning of summer and Kara had just learnt how to control her ability to fly, which she thought was just about the coolest thing ever. Eliza had warned her repeatedly that she wasn’t allowed to fly unless Alex was there to keep watch, but that particular summer Alex had been offered a position at summer school for the college she wanted to go to the following semester. So the new rule was that Kara wasn’t allowed to fly at all. But what Eliza didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

And that's how she stumbled upon a very drunk Lena, wobbling carelessly along the cliffs edge by the beach at 3am one night.

She kept her distance at first, wondering what in Rao’s name the dark haired girl was doing. Kara could hear her muttering about her mother and someone called Lex followed by a loud sigh. She watched for a few more moments, not knowing if she should go talk to the clearly upset girl, but just as she decided that it wasn’t her business, Lena had lost her balance and went tumbling over the edge.

It was as if it happened in slow motion. Logically, Kara knew the cliff wasn’t big enough for Lena to actually hurt herself, but her body seemed to have other plans and she somehow found herself mid-air with a stranger in her arms. Panicked, Kara frantically looked around to make sure no one was around to see what she’d just done.

“Nice catch.” Lena laughed as if nothing had happened and soon, Kara joined in with her, still trying to process what just happened.

After that, things sort of happened in a blur. Kara heard someone calling Lena’s name and took it as an opportunity to set the girl down and make her exit with the hopes that the person would find her (she hovered close by just to make sure) and then prayed to every god she could think of that Lena was too drunk to remember that night. That fantasy lasted for about two days before Lena showed up on Kara’s doorstep, out of breath and with wide eyes and said I remember. Even though Kara denied everything, Lena was so sure to the point where she climbed onto the roof of the Danvers house and _threw_ herself from it.

And Kara obviously had to catch her.

Lena, significantly less drunk than the time before, looked at Kara with almost admiration and whispered _what the actual fuck._

By the time summer had ended, Kara and Lena had grown almost inseparable - at least after Lena had promised to stop throwing herself off large buildings - and Kara had never felt so comfortable around anyone before. Lena promised not to tell anyone about what Kara could do as well as being the first person to truly not judge her. They both understood the feeling of not belonging. And when Lena had to leave for boarding school come September, they promised to keep in touch until Lena could return the following summer.

That’s how they spent every summer for the next few years. Lena inviting her for sleepovers, telling Kara secrets from boarding school in Ireland and Kara sharing stories about growing up on Krypton. It felt strange for both of them, having a best friend. Alex had explained what it was like before, but this felt _different_. Kara often feared Lena didn’t feel it the same way she did. By the time they were applying for college, they insisted on going to the same one.

And that's how they ended up here.

“You know,” Kara started, “these technically don’t count as dinner, right?” She pointed at the candy.

“They do if you eat enough of them.”

“Come on Lena, you’ve been here for hours. Let’s go get real food.” Kara looked at all the open textbooks with scribbled notes in the margins. One of them was simply a drawing of an angry face, the words ‘fuck physics’ written in angry handwriting. “I’ll buy.”

Lena glanced up at Kara, already knowing to expect puppy eyes, and gave in immediately. She was convinced that was another one of Kara’s powers that she had just failed to mention.

“Fine, but you’re buying me the biggest burger on the menu, no take backs.”

Kara laughed and helped her pack up the mess she’d created. “You got it, boss.”

\-----

Kara quickly decided college was a strange place. The first few weeks were difficult, her only friend was Lena and that was usually fine. Although, as per insistence from Lena’s mother, she wasn’t allowed to live in campus dorms, something about ‘ _boarding school is one thing Lena, but I’m not having you stay somewhere that will distract you from your school work_ ’. And so, Lena lived off-campus in an apartment and Kara had to endure living with a roommate who was supposed to be her best friend.

It wasn’t all bad though. Nia, the roommate, turned out to be way nicer than Kara had expected. Once they realised that they had a shared sense of humour, they’d spend nights sending each other memes and laughing to the point of tears.

Then Sam was introduced by Nia as the older girl who almost beat the shit out of a frat guy for being a dick. Sam was headstrong and had a ‘take no shit’ attitude like Lena, Kara quickly became friends with her.

By November, Kara felt settled and comfortable. Except for one small thing.

It wasn’t an issue.

Well, not a big issue anyway. At least not in Kara’s opinion. But for some reason, she still felt her cheeks burning bright red as she listened to the conversation between Sam and Nia unfold in front of her.

“I lost count after a while, I swear to god-” Sam paused to take a sip of her coffee and closed her eyes for a second as if reliving a memory. “It’s always the quiet ones, you know?”

It was a Saturday morning and, like usual, Sam had woken Kara and Nia up by banging on their door and insisting they join her for breakfast. Kara wasn’t exactly sure if Sam had gone home last night judging by the fact she was in the same clothes as the day before.

Nia voiced her agreement as Kara shifted uncomfortably. None of this was new - this being Sam oversharing the details about her sex life as they drink coffee in their favourite cafe- it was basically a Saturday morning ritual at this point.

It wasn’t like- Kara wasn’t uncomfortable talking about sex per say, but it had always been a difficult topic for her.

On Krypton it was common knowledge that people didn’t have sex for pleasure, there was technology for that. Sex was purely just a way to have children, no more, no less. So when Kara crashed into earth at the age of thirteen, she was shocked to learn that it was a thing some people do when they’re attracted to each other. That was probably the most awkward conversation she had ever had with Eliza.

Then, when she realised that the yellow sun affected her body, that’s when things got even more awkward for her.

It wasn’t that bad at the start. It began with Kara accidentally crushing her brand new and first ever phone when she saw two people making out on some TV show. Alex just gave her a strange look after that, they still weren’t on the best of terms at that point. It happened again when she was 15 and Alex had a group of friends she knew from school over. They were all hanging out at the beach as Kara watched from her window - she apparently wasn’t cool enough to be friends with them. One of the girls had ran up to Kara and Alex’s shared room saying she had to wash all the sand off before going home. She made small talk with Kara before promptly stripping off her bathing suit and walking to the bathroom. That time ended with two perfectly scorched circles in the door of her wardrobe, a hammering heart and a lot of questions.

The time that scarred her probably the most was when she was 17 and went to her first house party. She and Alex were close by then and Alex gave her advice on how to dress, what to say when people questioned why she wasn’t drinking and a general understanding of what happened at parties. But Kara wasn’t stupid. She knew, or at least she was hoping that _something_ would happen at the party. And something did. Somehow, she found herself locked in a small room with a guy she _definitely_ was not attracted to, but her stomach still swooped at the thought of kissing someone for the first time. That was until he put his sweaty hands on her hips and it made her jump so much that she accidentally head-butted him in the nose. She remembered feeling like a freak when she heard people whispering about the girl that broke some guy’s nose for trying to kiss her.

Alex helped her though. She explained to Kara that she would just have to take things slow now that she had all of this new found strength. And that’s what Kara had been doing, taking things slow. She’d gotten far better at kissing, only broken one other nose and was comfortable with where she was at. Or at least she use to be.

“Hey Kara, you still here?” Nia’s hand was suddenly waving in her face to get her attention while Sam looked at her in anticipation. “Sam asked you about your worst sex experience.”

The blush returned to Kara’s face, “My worst… ughh, I don’t really remember-” She wasn’t embarrassed. It really wasn’t a big deal, but Sam and Nia were relatively new friends and suddenly she felt like she had to lie or they would ask questions.

But as she was stuttering over her words, she caught Sam’s eye and decided in that moment that she could not lie to save her life.

“You’ve never had sex.” Sam said. She was smirking as if she had just solved some big mystery.

“What, no… I’ve had - I have sex all the time…” Sam dramatically tilted her head and squinted her eyes, “okay fine, I’ve never had sex, are you happy?”

Kara grew even more uncomfortable and began fidgeting with her glasses. This is exactly what she _didn’t_ want to happen.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Nia started, “In fact, I wish I waited till I was older, it’s just-”

“How the fuck have you not had sex?” Sam cut Nia off, “I mean, look at you Kara, you have guys lining up just to talk to you!”

“Guys aren’t lin-”

“You’re really gonna sit here and tell me that you haven’t had the chance?” Sam’s words made Kara wince slightly. She, to her own surprise, had a number of chances. Kara didn’t frequently go to parties like the other two girls, but in the times that she had gone, there was always someone asking her to go home with them. She obviously said no, yet part of her just wanted to get it out of the way. After all, she was older now, surely she’d be in more control of her powers.

“It’s not that, I guess I just haven’t found anyone I like enough to sleep with them.” That technically wasn’t a lie. Kara realised quite quickly that just wasn’t attracted to men, but the thought of having to deal with maybe possibly being gay _and_ struggling to control her strength was too much for her to deal with. Instead, she opted for the good old ‘ignore it till it goes away’ method.

“So what? Are you gonna wait till you fall in love or something?” Nia asked. It was a genuine question without sarcasm and Kara couldn’t help but draw her eyebrows together in thought.

_Was she going to have to wait till she found someone she loved and that loved her back?_

That thought lingered with her for the rest of the day. Just the idea of having to tell someone about her past - the fact that she was a literal alien with incredible powers that could kill a human easily - it made her skin crawl. What made it worse was that she didn’t want to wait. Kara wanted that whole college experience of hooking up with anyone she wanted and being able to get drunk with her friends, she -

She wanted to be _normal_.

It just so happened that the only person she felt completely normal around was Lena. It wasn’t like she could ask her for help with this… situation. Kara wasn’t willing to risk her favourite person ever just to get laid.

And it wasn’t as though Kara was actually attracted to Lena. Sure, she was gorgeous in every sense of the word and she would definitely be Kara’s type if she was gay, which she wasn’t. Or at least that's what she told herself almost every day since that incident with Alex’s friend when she was 15.

Okay, stop, Kara thought, _what happened to ignoring it till it goes away?_

But, try as she might, the thought of asking Lena to help her wouldn’t leave her alone. They were best friends after all.

_What were friends for?_

The next night, after waking up from a rather heated dream featuring Lena her _best fucking friend_ panting beneath her while her fingers were somewhere they definitely should not be, Kara decided that she should absolutely stop thinking about it.

\---

The week after passes in a haze of cramming for midterms and planning Christmas break which was a few weeks away.

It was Friday night and Kara, Sam and Nia had congregated at Lena's apartment for their half traditional movie night which was basically an excuse to get wine drunk and complain about how difficult college was.

"I'm gonna drop out and move back home," Nia said while she refilled her wine glass.

"You're only saying that because Brainy hasn't replied in what? Two hours?" Lena jabbed back.

Lena had taken a while to come around to Kara's new friends. She wasn't use to people like this. Lena had once told Kara that boarding school was just a competition to see whose family had the most money. Of course most people still knew the Luthor name, but it was different in college. They just didn't care, and Lena loved it.

"Hey don't be mean to Nia," Kara wrapped her arms around Nia's in a sideways hug, "she's just heartbroken."

"Ew, get off me."

"Don't worry Nia, Lena wouldn't understand. She doesn't have a heart." Sam fired back.

Sam and Lena had a weird friendship. From an outsider's perspective, anyone would mistake them for hating each other. Although, every mean comment was followed by a quick smirk and somehow they both just knew that the other was taking the piss. Kara didn't fully understand it, she didn't pick up on hints well, but she learnt not to question it over time.

"Maybe so, but at least I have a brain."

Their bickering went back and forth before Nia let out a loud gasp, almost making Kara spill her wine- not that it did anything for her, but she was still thankful every time Lena handed her a glass with a glint in her eye as if to say _I have your back._

"He replied!"

Sam simply rolled her eyes. "Of course he did, he's smart enough to know when he's got something good."

"He invited us to a party tomorrow," Nia began typing on her phone, a small smile stuck to her face. "We're all going, no arguments."

Sam replied with a quick _obviously_ while Kara shook her head.

"No way, midterms are literally a week away."

Nia gave her a pleading look, "Oh come on Kara, it'll be the last party before Christmas break."

"Yeah, come on Kara." Sam poked her in the side and pouted her lip.

Kara stood her ground, she was already behind on two of her modules for the semester and was planning to spend the rest of the week stuck in the library. Nothing could convince her to change her mind. _Well_ -

"It could be fun," Lena chipped in. Kara caught Lena's eye as soon as she said it and there was something so tempting in the way she said it that Kara couldn't look away. "It wouldn't be the same without you, Kara."

And _god_ if that didn't make Kara do a full 180.

It wasn't Lena specifically that changed her mind… Or maybe it was, Kara's head had been muddled the past few days. But they were best friends, it was normal for her to want to be around Lena all the time, at least she _thought_ it was normal.

What wasn't normal were the recent dreams Kara had been having which always include Lena in some way, under her, on top of her, between her legs. And even though Kara promised herself that she would stop thinking about it, she just couldn't.

"Fine," Kara caved, "but I'm not holding anyone's hair back if they puke." She pointed daggers with her eyes at Sam and mouthed _you know what you did_ and the girl in question quickly turned to avoid eye contact.

Again, Lena caught Kara's eyes and gave her a soft smile and suddenly Kara was excited for the party.

And that’s exactly how she found herself the next night, surrounded by a pile of clothes with Nia, trying to convince the girl that she looked good in every outfit that she’d tried on… all eleven of them.

“What about that top?”

“No, it doesn't go with my shoes.”

“Okay, what about those shoes you wore last time?”

“Kara, I love you, but remind me to never ask for clothing advice from you ever again.”

Kara let out a huff and dramatically fell back on to her bed. They had been at this for almost two hours.

“Fine, what about that black dress you stole from Lena?”

Nia’s eyes widened as though she’d completely forgotten about the dress which, to be fair, was probably true considering she ‘stole’ it from Lena when she was drunk. After rummaging around her closet, Nia pulled it out and whispered to herself “Finally, some good fucking food.”

Kara responded with a chuckle as her phone let out a chime.

_(Alex 10:02pm): Remember to be careful tonight Kara_

The message reminded her of the weight in her jacket pocket. It was a small bottle of alien alcohol Alex had somehow managed to get hold of, how she did it, Kara couldn’t work out. But instead of asking questions, Kara was just excited to finally feel what it was like to be drunk. Not that she was going to drink a lot, part of her was nervous about what she might do.

_(Kara 10:03pm): I will, promise_

_(Alex 10:03pm): I texted Lena to keep an eye on you just in case_

Of course she did, Kara thought to herself, Alex was the most protective person she knew. And, maybe it wasn’t a bad thing she asked Lena to look out for her. After all, it meant that Lena would have to spend more time around her.

Yeah, definitely not a bad thing.

\---

Lena could already tell that her ears would still be ringing in the morning from how loud the music was playing in the house. She wasn’t exactly sure whose house it was but, judging by the size of it, it had to be a frat house.

She and Sam had arrived a few minutes prior and she could already feel a slight buzz from the drinks they’d had while getting ready. Lena glanced around the room, looking to see if she knew anyone other than Sam, well- looking for Kara specifically. When she realised that the familiar blonde hair was nowhere to be seen, she pulled out her phone and at the same time a text came through.

_(Alien👽 10:31pm): Be there soon, Nia had a wardrobe meltdown :/_

Lena laughed to herself and put her phone back in her pocket only to have it replaced by a red cup filled with some ungodly thing Sam had created.

“Sam, what the fuck is in this?” She held it up to smell it before taking a sip and all she got was nail varnish remover. Definitely not a good sign.

“Liquid courage,” Sam yelled over the music.

Lena looked from Sam to the cup, and then back to Sam again, “Why would I need liquid courage?”

“You’re gonna ask Kara out tonight,” Sam said it with such certainty that it made Lena’s heart stop for a second.

“What are you talking about? Kara and I are just friends,” Lena replied as convincingly as she could.

Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head, “Lena, friends don’t look at each other like that.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Lena took a gulp of the drink, letting it burn the back of her throat just to avoid making eye contact with Sam.

In truth, Lena had been in love with her best friend since the first night they met. Well maybe not the first considering she had been drunk and didn’t know anything other than a pretty girl caught her in mid-air. It was that first summer though. It was the way that Kara had trusted her like no one had before. The way that Kara was fascinated with Lena as she talked about her life and Ireland and even little things like what she learnt in class that day. Lena couldn’t stop smiling around her, which was the most unusual thing in her opinion, but she felt almost addicted to Kara’s company, to the point where she would count down the days until summer and beg her mother to let her stay with Lex in Midvale.

It didn’t take Lena long to realise that she was in love with Kara. It was the end of that first summer and Lena had to leave the next day for boarding school. So, in true Kara fashion, she insisted they camp out on the beach. As they lay shoulder to shoulder, Kara grabbed her hand and pointed it at a bright star, telling her that it was Krypton, still burning after all those years. It was then that Lena saw just how much Kara had lost. And seeing Kara lay beside her, still smiling and making her laugh after everything she’d been though, that was when it hit Lena.

She had planned to tell Kara the next summer, knowing it was too important to just blurt out over the phone, but by the time it had come around Kara had told her about a boy that she was interested in after he’d asked her to the school dance. So Lena decided to keep it to herself, not wanted to risk losing her best friend and hoping that the feelings would just go away.

They didn’t.

In fact, it was almost painful now.

“Come on Lena, we can all see the way you look at each other. Jesus, it almost makes me want a relationship.” Lena perked up at that.

_Kara looks at her the same?_

No, Lena simply didn’t believe that. “Sam, don’t be stupid, Kara doesn’t look at me in any way other than a friend,” she took another sip of her drink, “And, besides, she straight.”

Sam let out a genuine laugh, her drink sloshing over the edges of the cup.

“Are we talking about the same Kara?” She asked, “The same Kara who literally can’t sit in a chair properly? Who has never shown interest in a single guy since I’ve known her? Who constantly stares at your ass?”

Okay, in all fairness, Lena has caught Kara looking at her ass on multiple occasions. But she just convinced herself that it was all in her head.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Lena argued, “She doesn’t feel the same way.”

“So you admit you have feelings for her?”

_Well, shit._

“Sam, can we just drop this?”

Lena could almost feel her chest ache at the thought of Kara not loving her back in the same way.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Sam put her hand on Lena’s arm and gave it a squeeze, “I was just hoping that if you two got together, Kara would finally have sex for the first time and stop being so tense.”

Lena could tell Sam was just messing about, but the fact that Kara hadn’t slept with anyone shocked her in a way.

Sex was something Lena quickly learned Kara didn’t like talking about, so she never brought it up. She thought that when Kara got comfortable enough, she would talk about it, but it just never happened and Lena wasn’t one to push. It shouldn’t have surprised Lena that much though, she herself had never really seen Kara show any interest in someone for more than a few days.

“Speak of the devil,” Sam said while waving over Kara and Nia.

“The party is finally here!” Nia shouted, but Lena was hardly paying attention to anything besides Kara who was dressed in a tight plain white shirt that showed off her muscular arms and a pair of ripped black jeans.

Kara’s eyes immediately found Lena’s and a smile took hold of her face as she lent down to say, “You look really good,” in her ear.

A shiver went the whole way down Lena’s body, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Kara could feel it.

“You do too,” Lena replied, “Did you bring the stuff?”

Kara pulled out the small bottle of liquid. Alex had told them that a few drops of it would have the same effect as a regular spirit, hence why the bottle was so small. Even drinking half of it would surely result in Kara laying passed out in a garden somewhere.

“Great,” Lena said and smirked at Kara, “Let’s have some fun then, shall we?”

\---

Kara felt… strange. Not a bad kind of strange. More like everything is moving _very_ slow and _oh my god why_ did she have more hands than normal, kind of strange. She wasn't _drunk_ drunk, but definitely a little bit past tipsy and could feel it in the way the kitchen was spinning.

She and Lena were sitting around a small table with two other people Kara recognised from class, Winn and… Amy? Or Emma?

"Imra," Winn slurred his words, "It's your go."

Imra. That was it.

Kara had been roped into playing Never have I ever by Lena, who was slightly less drunk than she was, but a little extra giggly than her usual self.

"Okay, okay," Imra tipped her head back in thought, a laugh bubbling up as she said, "Never have I ever… had sex in a car."

Winn was the first one to take a sip of his drink, mumbling something about _you said that on purpose_ and _it was one time._ Then, Kara glanced over at Lena just in time to see her take a small sip of her drink.

"Lena!" Winn drunkenly yelled, "We're car sex buddies!" Lena just smirked into her cup, not realising the smile that dropped from Kara's face.

Kara felt- well she didn't know exactly what she felt, but it wasn't good. It wasn't the first time she had felt it either. Often, when Sam and Lena would talk about people they've hooked up with, Kara would get the sudden feeling of frustration. She blamed it on the fact that she herself couldn’t hook up with anyone, but now it felt different, stronger. Maybe she was just drunk.

Kara was brought out of thought by Winn as he refilled his cup with whatever bottle was closest and said "My turn! Never have I ever masturbated to the thought of someone at this party." He tipped back his own drink as he finished the sentence.

"Winn, the game is to say things you've never done." Imra scoffed, but also took a sip. "You need to sober up and go talk to James before someone else does."

Kara looked down at her drink. _Fuck_. She didn't even want to admit it to herself, but there were moments when she was having some… alone time where her thoughts would slip to a certain dark haired girl. She always felt guilty as soon her mind would wander, but she just couldn't help it.

Especially the last few weeks.

Logically, she knew if she took a sip, Lena wouldn't know it was about her. And maybe if she was sober, she wouldn't have drank.

But she wasn't sober.

Kara lifted her cup to her lips, her eyes glancing over the rim to Lena, who was staring right back at her with a perfectly plucked eyebrow raised.

She set her drink back down, trying to avoid eye contact with Lena. Kara's hands clenched and unclenched in nervousness, trying to convince herself that there was no way Lena knew she drank because of her.

It didn't help when she saw Lena also bring her cup up for a sip.

"Well that's enough sexual tension for tonight, I'm gonna go find James." Winn broke Kara's panicked train of thought as he pushed his chair back from the table and stumbled from his chair to the makeshift dance floor in the living room.

Kara's heart was still hammering in her chest. Maybe getting drunk wasn't such a good idea.

"So Lena," Imra started, moving from her chair to Winn's empty one to get closer to Lena, "What did you say your major was again?"

Kara watched the way Imra looked at Lena. She moved closer than necessary in Kara's opinion, they're legs were almost touching. It made Kara want to look away.

"Biomedical engineering," Lena answered.

"You know, I love a girl with brains," Imra reached out and put her hand on Lena's thigh and, suddenly, that feeling of frustration built back up in Kara's chest like it did before.

As bad as she was at picking up on hints, Kara could easily see that Imra was hitting on Lena. And that thought alone made her dig her fingernails into the flesh of her palm.

"Is that so?"

It wasn't like Kara was jealous. She couldn't be. Lena was her _best friend_ and she should be happy her friend was about to get laid. But then Imra slid her hand even higher on Lena's thigh and fuck.

Maybe she was a little jealous.

"Well you know what they say about smart girls," Imra moved closer to Lena, "they're always the kink-"

"Lena, will you come dance with me?" Kara's small outburst made the table shake as she suddenly stood from her chair.

It was the alcohol. Or at least that's what she would tell anyone that asked.

Imra's hand slid off Lena's thigh and Kara let out a quiet sigh of relief until she noticed both girls looking at her strangely.

"Sorry," Kara stuttered out, "I just really love this song…"

Lena raised an eyebrow at Kara but stood up regardless and held out her hand to the blonde.

"Sure, let's dance."

As soon as Kara felt Lena thread her fingers through her own, she instantly calmed down. Lena tugged her towards the living room, tilting her head in the direction of Nia and Brainy who were _definitely_ getting to know each other better.

"Everything okay?" Lena asked as they half-heartedly danced, trying not to bump into the sweaty bodies packed into the small room.

"Yeah I dunno know, I just," Kara didn't know what to say. She knew she couldn't tell Lena how she was actually feeling, "I think I'm just drunk."

A worried look took over Lena's face. "Do you want me to take you home? Are you not feeling good?"

"No, no I wanna stay here," Someone pushed into the back of Kara, mumbling out a sorry as she was brought closer to Lena, "I feel good now."

"What does it feel like for you?"

The two girls were close enough now that Lena had to tilt her head back to look up at Kara.

"It feels like I'm floating."

Lena let out a laugh as she watched Kara quickly look down to make sure she wasn't _actually_ floating.

The song changed to a slower beat, the kind that Kara always felt awkward dancing to. Her arms self-consciously wrapped across each other, not knowing what else to do with them.

"Here," Lena said, unfolding Kara's arms and guiding her hands to her waist, "Like this."

Lena's own hands went up to the side of Kara's neck, brushing along the baby hairs at the back. Kara was able to smell the coconut shampoo that Lena used and was suddenly very aware of how close the two had become. They had been close like this before, too many times to count. But this felt different. Kara wondered if Lena could feel it too. She also wondered if Lena could hear how fast her heart was pounding in her chest, if she could see how nervous she was making Kara.

Lena's thumbs started tracing shapes along Kara's jaw as they swayed to the music. Her eyes fell shut as Kara's hands clenched at her waist. Kara took it as an opportunity to look at Lena up close like this. She was sure she had never met anyone as beautiful as the girl in front of her. Kara had even told her than on multiple occasions.

Kara's eyes fell to Lena's lips, her tongue subconsciously darting out to wet her own. It would be so easy just to lean in and finally give in to all the feelings she'd been having recently. And Kara wanted to, _so badly_. It almost felt as though her chest was aching for her to do something.

When Lena opened her eyes, they were also fixed on Kara's lips, like she had known exactly what the blonde was thinking. Kara could hear Lena's breathing getting heavier and watched as she wet her own lips.

This wasn't actually happening, Kara thought to herself, it couldn't be happening. Lena was her best friend. If she lent in now, things would have to change and Kara couldn't cope with any more changes in her life.

But Lena was looking at her lips like she wanted it too. Like she wanted Kara to lean in. And it made Kara's heart stutter for a second.

Just as she felt Lena begin to tilt her head and move in closer, Kara's hands let go of Lena's waist and she stumbled back.

"I- I need some air."

And just like that, Kara bolted out to the back garden, leaving Lena alone and confused.

There was a small area set up with a fire pit and a couple of couches that had been moved to make room for the dance floor in the house surrounding it. Kara flopped down on one of the empty ones and let out a quiet sigh, appreciating the lack of loud music.

There were a handful of people at the other side of the pit smoking. Kara took a second to close her eyes and just breathe, trying to process what had just happened. Even now she could still almost feel Lena's breath against her lips, drawing her in and tempting her to do what she's wanted for a while now.

Kara let herself imagine it, just for a second. She wondered if Lena's lips were as soft as they looked, if she would kiss her slow and soft or in a haste of need and want.

"Hey, there you are."

Kara jumped at the sound of Lena's voice and her face broke out in a deep blush as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't have been doing.

Which she kind of was.

"What's going on with you?" Lena sat down on the same couch as Kara, but left a bit of room between which Kara was both thankful for and hated.

"Nothing… It was just a bit too crowded in there." Kara added a smile in hopes that Lena wouldn't question her further.

"Yeah, I didn't expect there to be so many people here," Lena twisted so that she could rest her arm on the back of the couch, her head leaning on her hand, "I haven't seen Sam in like an hour."

Kara tried to think of the last time she saw Sam. She was pretty sure she caught a glimpse of her dancing with some girl, paying no mind to the people around them. Much like she and Lena had just done.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she was hooking up with someone in the first empty room they found, you know what she's like."

Lena let out a small laugh, "It definitely wouldn't be a first."

It was exactly this kind of thing that made Kara want to be normal. She couldn't just hook up with a stranger at a party. Not that she actually wanted to, but it would have been nice to at least have the option.

A few minutes passed with both the girls enjoying the heat of the fire and listening to the steady thump of music coming from the house. Kara's buzz and died down a considerable amount to the point where she felt comfortable.

"Can I ask you something?"

Lena's voice brought Kara back to reality. She looked deep in thought, like she was debating whether or not to ask Kara what she wanted to know.

"You can ask me anything, Lena."

"It's stupid, really," Lena looked up at Kara, her eyebrows drawn together, "Why have you never had sex?"

That definitely wasn't what Kara was expecting.

Kara let out a nervous laugh, her hand flying up to fiddle with her glasses.

"Sorry," Lena instantly regretted bringing it up, "you don't have to answer that, Sam just mentioned something earlier and I know we never really talk about that kind of stuff, I shouldn't hav-"

"Lena, it's fine," Kara interrupted her trying to explain herself, "honesty, you can ask."

Lena let out a sigh, relieved that she hadn't made Kara uncomfortable.

"Is there a reason why you haven't done it yet? Like are you not ready?"

"No, I am ready," Lena didn't need to know just _how_ ready she was, "I guess I'm just afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"Hurting someone." Kara answered sheepishly. "I'm scared I'll lose control of my strength."

Lena gave Kara a sad smile, "I thought you were in control of that now?"

"I am," Kara replied, "but what if I mess up? What if I get distracted and end up hurting someone?"

Lena grabbed Kara's hand and gave it a tight squeeze, "That won't happen, Kara."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"I just know." Lena had no doubt in her mind that Kara could never hurt anyone, no matter how out of control she was. "Maybe you just need to go for it."

Kara tried to push the idea of _just going for it_ with Lena out of her head. She really did try. But Lena always had so much trust in her, always believed that Kara was good and always knew exactly what to say. Who could blame Kara for feeling this way?

"I don't want to go through that whole process of having to tell someone everything about myself." Kara replied, "Who is gonna want to have sex with me knowing I could literally break them in half?"

Lena clenched her jaw, "Ask someone who already knows then."

"The only people that know are my family." Kara let out a frustrated huff and dropped Lena's hand.

"And me."

Kara's breathing stuttered and her mind went blank for a second. Lena couldn't be hinting at something, _could she_? Kara knew she was bad at picking up on hints, and maybe this was all just wishful thinking, but the way Lena was looking at her made her think maybe she wants this too.

"Lena-"

"You're my best friend," Lena started, "and I could help you with this Kara, god knows you've helped me with so many things in the past."

Kara didn't know what to say. Her mouth hung open, trying to figure out if Lena was serious. On one hand, this was what she had been dreaming about. _Literally_. But on the other, there was still that insistent little voice in the back of her head telling her that it was a bad idea.

"I get it if you're not into girls," Lena continued, "and nothing has to change, it can just be a one time thing for you to test the waters."

"Nothing has to change?" Kara repeated.

"Nothing."

Kara swallowed hard, trying to weigh out the pros and cons in her head as well as trying not to have a heart attack. Everything inside her wanted to say yes, this is exactly what she's been craving for. But there was still a lingering fear of hurting someone, of hurting _Lena_. Kara wouldn't be able to live with herself if something like that were ever to happen.

Just as Kara was about to reply, a sudden burst of people came running out into the garden, all heading towards the gate leading to the road.

"What is happeni-"

"Guys we gotta go right now." Nia had appeared with Brainy and Sam - who was looking particularly dishevelled - in tow.

Kara looked around, confused as to what was happening until she saw two police officers rounding up all the drunk students who didn't make it out of the house in time and checking their breath alcohol levels.

"Yeah, we have to run." Kara reached out for Lena's hand, pulling her up from the chair and running in the same direction as Nia and Sam.

By the time they were far enough away, Lena's chest was heaving and Kara hadn't even broken a sweat.

"Jesus Christ," Sam puffed out, leaning over with her hands on her knees, "I've never run that fast in my life."

"I think I pulled a muscle." Nia said.

Kara's heart was still pumping as fast as everyone else's, but it wasn't because of the running. She glanced over at Lena, only to find Lena looking right back at her with a small smile.

"Perhaps we should all head home." Brainy suggested and Sam let out a hum of agreement.

They began the short walk back to their dorms, Lena booking an uber on the way there. Sam, Nia and Brainy were a few paces in front of them. Kara stuffed her hands in her pockets debating if it was a good idea to bring up the conversation or not. Every part of her was begging to just give in and say yes, to go home with Lena and not think about the consequences.

And maybe nothing would change between them, it would just be a one time thing for Kara to make sure she could control herself.

Lena was just being a good friend, these kinds of things happen all the time. It didn’t actually _mean_ anything.

That thought ran through Kara’s head the entire silent walk home. By the time they had reached the dorms, Lena’s uber had just pulled up and Sam and Nia both said a quick good night as they made their way inside.

"Hey Kara," Lena paused just as she was about to open the car door, "Can we finish that conversation later?"

Kara only blinked in response, unsure as to whether Lena bringing it up again was a really bad thing or an unbelievably good thing.

"Yeah, of course." Kara answered, "Text me when you get home, okay?"

"I will, promise."

Lena gave her one last smile before getting in the car.

\---

Kara was ignoring Lena.

Or at least that’s what Lena thought. For the past week, she had received only a handful of texts from the blonde explaining that she was busy studying for midterms or some other plausible excuse. Which, to be fair, probably wasn’t a lie. They had both been focusing on deadlines and exams.

But, Lena knew she fucked up.

She couldn’t even bring herself to think about what happened at the party. She had embarrassed herself and almost definitely ruined her friendship with Kara. _God_ , what was she even thinking? Offering to have sex with Kara was the stupidest thing she had ever done.

Lena thought back to when they were dancing. She was so sure they were about to kiss. Well, at least until Kara basically ran away from her. Even when they were talking in the garden, Lena could feel that something had shifted between them. And maybe she was drunk or maybe she just let her feelings cloud her judgement, but she could have sworn that Kara wanted to say yes to her proposition.

Yet, there she was, missing her best friend and packing to go to Metropolis for Christmas break with her mother. Lena planned to leave in a couple of days now that her work for the semester was over and all she wanted was to apologise to Kara. Or at least tell her she was drunk and didn’t mean it.

Lena pulled out her phone, scrolling through the handful of unanswered text messages she had sent Kara throughout the past few days. She debated sending another one. Lena had never been one to cope well with distance and uncertainty.

_(Lena🥼🤓 7:27pm): Can you come over? Please?_

She locked her phone as soon as she sent it, throwing it on the couch and hoping that Kara would respond or at least even read the message.

What Lena didn't expect was a rasp at her door not two minutes after the message had been delivered.

\---  
Kara stood nervously outside Lena's door, unable to bring herself to knock.

She wasn't exactly _avoiding_ Lena, she just needed time to figure things out and try to make sense of everything that she had been feeling since the party.

Things had been strange, to say the least. All Kara could think about was Lena, their conversation constantly playing in her head on a loop. Lena was drunk, that's what Kara had been telling herself. Lena was drunk and she didn't actually mean anything she said about helping Kara out. They were friends, and Lena was just trying to make Kara feel better. That was it.

But _god_ did Kara want it to mean more.

After she had gotten that message from Lena, she knew it was time to stop hiding and just talk to her.

Taking a deep breath, Kara lifted her hand to knock at the door, something she usually didn't do. On a normal day, she would just barge right in, knowing Lena always forgot to lock her door.

It took a few seconds for Lena to answer, although Kara could hear her heartbeat stutter as soon as she knocked.

"Kara," Lena said, leaning her weight against the open door, "you're here."

Kara brought her hand up to the back of her neck, not really knowing what to say, "Yeah, sorry I've not really spoken to you lately…"

"No, honestly it's fine, I should be the one apologising."

Lena opened the door wider, beckoning Kara in and making her way to the couch.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Kara said. She took in Lena's appearance for the first time since arriving, noting that she was wearing one of Kara's old Midvale high sweaters and a pair of leggings. Kara couldn't help but think about how soft Lena looked.

"I do, for everything that happened at the party."

Kara paused at that.

"That's actually what I came here to talk about." Once again, Kara felt that nervous energy creeping back up.

"Kara, I shouldn't have-"

"Were you being serious?" Kara asked. She didn't know if she actually wanted the answer to that. Part of her was hoping that this whole thing would just blow over, that she and Lena could go back to how they were.

But, a much bigger part of her wanted Lena to say yes, she was being serious.

"I…" Lena seemed as though she didn't want to answer the question either. With a hard swallow, Lena made up her mind, "Yes."

A few seconds of silence went by. Kara had her answer, the answer that she wanted. But now she didn't know where to go from here.

"Did you want me to say no, Kara?" Lena asked, suddenly unsure of herself.

"No!" Kara almost shouted, "No, I mean, I don't know what I want… I just, I trust you, Lena." Kara's voice softened as she said Lena's name, "I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"It doesn't have to ruin anything, I want to help."

Lena offered Kara a soft smile.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Lena repeated.

"Just double checking, by 'help' you definitely mean have sex with me, right?"

Lena let out a laugh, "Yes Kara, I'll have sex with you."

Kara breathed out a small sigh of relief that was quickly taken over by the realisation that Lena had actually offered to sleep with her. That made her heart rate spike. Weeks of pent up sexual frustration caused by dreams involving the girl right in front of her abruptly came rushing to the surface and Kara suddenly couldn't sit still.

Her dreams were never overly explicit, usually just heavy panting and rushed hands. But now? Now she wasn't dreaming. And Kara's imagination was running wild at the thought of _explicitness_.

"So how does this work? Will we set a date or…?" Kara nervously chuckled. She was a relatively confident person, but this was a situation she had never been in and it made the palms of her hands damp with sweat.

Lena simply shrugged her shoulders, "Well I'm not doing anything now."

"Now?" Kara almost choked on air.

"Unless you don't want to?"

"Nope, now um… Now definitely works for me," Kara's hands went straight up to fiddle with her glasses.

There was tension in the air surrounding the two girls, neither of them knowing who was to make the first move.

"Sorry," Kara started, "I don't really know how…" She trailed off as Lena gave her a sly smile.

"I'll show you."

And, just like that, Lena was in Kara's lap, her thighs bracketing her own, but still leaving a small amount of distance between them. Kara, unsure of where to put her hands, gently lay them on Lena's waist.

"You can still say no, I can get up and put a movie or something on." Lena's face was so close that Kara couldn't look anywhere but her lips.

"I want this, Lena."

Hardly a second after the words left her mouth, Kara felt the soft brush of Lena's lips against her own. It was barely a kiss, but it set something off within Kara, making her lurch forward to capture Lena's lips between her own. Their kiss was soft and Kara's hand went up to cup Lena's cheek, holding it in place. It shouldn't have surprised Kara that Lena was an exceptionally good kisser.

Kara pressed her lips firmer into Lena's. A soft sigh escaped one of them as Lena reached out for Kara, her hands snaking their way around the back of Kara's neck and burying in the locks of blonde hair. She gave an experimental tug, drawing out a quiet moan from Kara. Kara could feel Lena smile into the kiss after her reaction.

The kiss slowly went from soft to rushed as Kara felt Lena's tongue slid against her lip, seemingly unsure of whether it was okay. Kara was _more than_ okay with it. She opened her mouth slightly, letting Lena's tongue slip in and meet her own. The feeling of it made Kara grip Lena's waist tighter as she tried her best to focus on controlling her strength. It was admittedly difficult, especially when Lena's hips began moving down, seeking friction. Instead of pulling away, Kara tugged Lena closer, her centre now pressed against Kara's stomach.

" _Fuck_ , Kara." Lena breathed against her mouth.

Kara took it as an opportunity to tilt Lena's head up and leave a trail of soft kisses down her jaw and along her neck until she found what she was looking for. "This is my favourite freckle," was all Kara said before she dragged her tongue up the length of Lena's neck and began sucking. Lena's hips bucked into Kara's stomach, her hands clenching in her hair which only made Kara suck harder.

Lena let out a satisfied hum as Kara continued to leave marks over her neck, eventually pulling at her hair to bring their lips together once again. Kara placed her hands on Lena's hips tugging her closer as she felt Lena's centre rubbing against her stomach faster. The heat of Lena's skin could be felt even through the clothes she wore and it made Kara want to slip her hands under the sweater to get closer, which is exactly what she did. Her hands explored Lena's back, her fingers gently running up and down her sides. They reached the hem of Lena's leggings, unsure and a little shaky until Lena pulled back slightly and whispered against her lips, "You can touch me, Kara."

Those words alone made Kara moan into her mouth and her hands slipped down to grab Lena's ass, helping her grind against her stomach. Kara shifted slightly and it made her realise how wet she had gotten from just kissing. The boxers she wore under her sweatpants were without a doubt ruined.

Kara hadn't noticed Lena's hands had fallen from the back of her neck until she felt her tug at the shirt she was wearing, asking for permission to remove it. Kara released her hold of Lena's ass, long enough to whip her shirt off and throw it haphazardly across the room before reaching out to grab Lena's sweater.

"Yours too," Kara said. Lena's hands lifted as Kara began pulling the sweater up, throwing it in the same direction as her own. It took Kara about three seconds to notice two things. One, Lena wasn't wearing a bra and, two, she had two small silver bars pierced through each nipple. "You have…" Kara struggled to find words in that moment and was unable to move her eyes away from Lena's chest, "When did you get that done?"

Lena glanced down at her with a smirk, as if she knew exactly the effect it was having on Kara, "Last year in Dublin," Lena answered, "You know, I never would have pegged you as a boob girl."

Kara’s thumbs ran along the underside of Lena’s breasts. “I don’t think I was until now.”

Kara dipped her head down, leaving slow wet kisses across Lena’s collarbones. Lena arched her body into Kara’s touch and her hands went up to fist in the blonde hair again. Kara could tell that Lena was getting impatient by the way her hips stuttered and the little groan she let out after a particularly hard suck. “ _Kara_ ,” Lena breathed out. It almost made Kara stop what she was doing out of awe. The way Lena had said her name made Kara want nothing more than to make Lena say it again.

That thought stuck in her head as Lena began pushing Kara’s head down to where she wanted it to be and far be it from Kara to deny what Lena wanted. Her lips lightly traced over Lena’s breasts, avoiding certain areas until Lena grabbed Kara's hand and brought it to exactly where she wanted it herself. Kara could feel how hard Lena's nipple was under her hand, the contrast between her heated skin and the cool metal bar making her want to run her tongue along it. Instead, Kara ran her thumb over Lena's nipple before pinching it, drawing out the loudest moan yet. She tugged on it lightly and watched as Lena's head fell forward onto her shoulder in pleasure. Deciding that she had teased the girl enough, Kara replaced her fingers with her tongue, swiping it along her nipple before taking it into her mouth and sucking on it. Lena's centre pressed even harder into Kara's stomach, and she could swear she almost felt how wet Lena was through her underwear and leggings.

Kara had a sudden and overwhelming urge to see how wet Lena was for herself and so she brought her hands to the back of Lena's thighs, abruptly pulling her in and standing up.

"Bedroom?" Kara breathlessly asked.

" _Yes_." Lena replied, her mouth latching onto Kara's neck as she tried to stay focused long enough to get them to the bedroom. For a moment, Kara had Lena pressed against the wall as Lena's teeth tugged at her earlobe. Kara's hip bone slid perfectly against Lena's clit through her leggings and she could feel her sagging against her body, her hips twitching and seeking the pressure again.

Kara considered just taking Lena there against the wall, but part of her was aching to see Lena spread out on her bed for her. She focused on the task of carrying Lena to her bedroom and once there, she lay her on the bed, taking a second to watch as Lena’s chest was heaving, her hair spread out on the pillow. Kara was still trying to process what was happening. She had Lena Luthor, her _best friend_ under her, panting and half naked, reaching up to pull her down to her lips. Kara wondered if she would regret it in the morning, but in that moment she just didn’t care, all she was thinking about was recreating everything that happened in her dreams.

They met in a heated kiss, burning with desire and want. Lena’s nails dragged down Kara’s back, leaving red marks that disappeared as quickly as they came. Kara wished that she didn’t heal so fast, she wanted to be able to see the reminders of what was happening in days to come.

The kiss began to slow down as Kara comfortably rested on top of Lena, her hands gripping her hips and toying with the waistband of her leggings. “You can take them off,” Lena said, knowing exactly what Kara was thinking. With shaky hands, Kara pulled at the waistband, giving Lena a chance to change her mind if she wanted. When she didn’t receive any protests, Kara sat up on her knees, slipping both the leggings and panties down Lena’s legs.

For a second, all Kara could do was stare at the neatly trimmed patch of hair between Lena’s legs, some of it shining with wetness. She felt her own rush of wetness soaking into her underwear, knowing that she was the one that made Lena that wet.

“Well,” Lena said as she parted her legs wider, giving Kara a better view of her cunt, “Are you just going to sit there?”

There was something so dirty in the way Lena was splayed out completely naked under Kara while she still had most of her clothes on. It made Kara feel in control, powerful. And she _loved_ it. Instead of replying, Kara reached down to cup Lena between her legs, not quite pressing firmly enough, but still able to feel how wet and warm she was.

Lena’s hips jolted up, trying to get closer, but Kara moved her hand back. “I don’t want to hurt you.” She said, the confidence she once had slipping away from her and replaced by a fear of losing control.

Lena placed her hand on Kara’s cheek, drawing her down to her mouth and kissing her soft and slow. “I like it rough, Kara.”

And _fuck_ if that didn’t make Kara even more wet.

Kara pressed her lips harder against Lena’s, her fingers parting the folds of Lena’s cunt, gathering the wetness that lay there and swiping them up. She purposely avoided her clit, circling around it and making Lena whine in desperation. “You’re so wet.” Kara groaned, her lips moving from Lena’s mouth and making her way down to her chest. She left a trail of hot kisses down to her breasts and took a nipple into her mouth, tugging on the metal bar at the same time as she finally pressed hard on Lena’s clit.

Lena moaned, her hips bucking into Kara’s hand as she drew slow, tight circles. Kara was taking her time, seeing how long it would take until Lena begged her for more. Lena only lasted a few minutes before whining out "Fuck me, _please_."

Hearing Lena beg for her made Kara dig her free hand into the bed sheets, feeling them tear beneath her hand and reminding her to keep control. "How many fingers can you take?" Kara asked, her fingers leaving their place on Lena's clit and going down to circle at her entrance.

Lena didn't answer straight away, too preoccupied with the thought of Kara being _inside_ her. "Start with two." She eventually said. Kara, doing as she was told, slipped two fingers inside of Lena's pussy. She could definitely put another one in with how wet Lena was, but instead Kara focused on how tight and warm Lena was as she clenched around her digits.

Lena's head fell back and a loud moan was drawn out of her as Kara began moving her fingers in and out, curling them with every thrust. She started slow, building Lena up, but eventually her hand began picking up the pace. Soon enough, Kara was fucking Lena hard and fast. If she wasn't so wrapped up in the way Lena felt around her fingers, Kara would have blushed at the lewd sounds they were making.

" _Fuck_ Kara." Lena moaned, her nails digging into Kara's back.

"Does it feel good?" Kara asked, instantly wanting to hear Lena's voice.

"It feels so _good_." Lena replied breathlessly. Her hips began chanting up to meet Kara's thrusts, but Kara promptly stopped her by grasping her hips and holding her down. It became clear that Lena definitely liked that as her cunt clenched harder around Kara's fingers, her hands desperately latching onto her back, "Fuck me _harder_ , Kara."

"Ask me nicely." Kara felt almost drunk from power.

" _Please_."

Kara withdrew her fingers, resulting in a helpless whine from Lena which was soon replaced by a strangled moan as Kara entered her again with three fingers. " _Yes_." Lena groaned. Kara began her steady pace again, speeding up once Lena got use to the stretch. Her fingers scissored inside of her, curling to hit the spongy spot. At one point, Kara thrusted hard enough that the sounds Lena was making suddenly stopped. Worried, Kara started to remove her fingers, only to have Lena snap her hips back into Kara's hand, "Do that again." She whimpered and Kara instantly moved her fingers again, fucking Lena hard enough that she was sure it would leave a bruise.

With Kara's tongue dragging along one of her nipples, she used her thumb to press against Lena's clit, rubbing it as her fingers worked in and out. And just like that, Lena's walls were tightening around her as Kara drew out her first orgasm, wetness seeping out and covering her hand and the sheets beneath them.

Her fingers slowed down to a stop and she gently removed them. Kara watched with an opened mouth as a string of wetness followed her fingers out, connecting them together. Without a second thought, Kara lifted her fingers to her mouth, feeling an overwhelming need to know what Lena tasted like.

Lena was watching her with wide eyes as she sucked her fingers into her mouth, moaning at the taste.

"Fuck Kara, don't _do_ that." Lena's thighs clenched together as she watched.

"You taste good though." Kara replied and leaned in to kiss Lena, letting her taste herself on Kara's tongue.

They continued kissing lazily, completely different from how frantic it was before. It wasn't long before Lena was pushing back on Kara's chest till they both sat in an upright position.

"I think it's time I return the favour." Lena said, smirking up at Kara.

"You- you don't have to." Kara stuttered out. The roles were quickly being reversed and now Kara was the one breathing heavily as Lena took control.

Lena let out a quiet laugh, "Isn't that the whole point of this?" She asked, reminding Kara of how this all started in the first place. "Besides," Lena added, her hand reaching in Kara's sweatpants and finding wetness seeping through her underwear and along her thighs, "it seems as though you need it."

Lena took her hand out from Kara's pants and ran her fingers along the bottom of the sports bra she was wearing, slipping them under slightly before lifting it up and over Kara's head.

"We can stop now if you want?" Lena said. But with the way her lips began pressing soft kisses over Kara's collarbones and how her teeth nipped at the skin there, Kara couldn't think of anything worse than stopping.

"No, keep going."

With the confirmation she needed, Lena dipped her head down, taking one of Kara's nipples into her mouth and pinching the other one softly with her finger and thumb. Kara's head tilted back as she pushed her chest closer to Lena.

This is the part, Kara soon realised, that she was going to have to focus on keeping control.

Lena started sucking bruises onto the flesh of Kara's breasts and as each one disappeared, she added a new one, almost as though she was trying to get at least one to stay. Kara's hips jolted downward, seeking any kind of friction she could find, but was only met with frustration when her pants got in the way. Lena laughed, not exactly at Kara, but just from the way Kara grumbled to herself when she didn't get what she was looking for.

"Take them off," Lena said, her words muffled from still kissing Kara's chest. Kara sat back, quickly pulling the sweatpants down her legs and throwing them across the room. If it wasn't for the fact that she literally just had her fingers in Lena's cunt, she may have been embarrassed by the very obvious damp spot that could be seen on her underwear. "Those too." Lena added, and soon, Kara was as naked as her best friend.

She resumed her previous position of sitting in Lena's lap and was exceedingly aware of Lena's hands resting on her thighs. Her hands began running up and down Kara's thighs, her thumbs dipping along the inside of them causing Kara to shudder as their lips found each other once again. Kara tried to stay focused on kissing Lena and keeping herself as calm as she could be, but it was difficult, especially when Lena's hands were so close to where she needed them to be.

Lena's fingers traced softly past the patch of damp hair and slid through the abundance of wetness. Her fingers barely touched her clit before Kara's hips twitched forward, almost knocking Lena back.

"Sorry! Oh my god, sorry." Kara said.

 _Now_ she was embarrassed.

"It's fine Kara, honestly." Lena replied and moved her hands away, setting them against Kara's toned stomach instead.

"This isn't going to work, is it?" Kara asked sadly. She was so close to finally feeling like a normal person, only to have been reminded that she couldn't control her strength.

"I have an idea." Lena said, interrupting Kara's inner debate of just flying home and feeling sorry for herself.

Lena lay back, her head resting on the pillow as her hands gripped Kara's waist, pulling at them to move up. "Lena, what are you-" Kara's pussy was soon placed just below Lena's mouth. "Oh."

"Is this okay?"

" _Yes_ ,” was all that Kara could mutter out. She could feel Lena's breathe on her and it made her clench with anticipation.

"Put your hands on the headboard, I'll tap your leg if it's too much, okay?"

Kara could only nod her head as she put her hands on the wooden headboard, gripping it till her knuckles turned white.

At the first swipe of Lena's tongue, Kara could feel the pressure of her hands splitting the wood beneath them. But Lena paid no mind to it, instead focusing on running her tongue from Kara's entrance up to her clit. She pulled it into her mouth, sucking on it for a moment before letting it go to lick at it. Kara's hips bore down, careful not to crush Lena completely as she grinded herself on Lena's tongue.

It felt… Well, Kara couldn't really explain how it felt other than probably the best thing she'd ever experienced. Lena's tongue was soft and hot against her clit as she worked it faster, building Kara up to what was about to be the best orgasm she'd ever had.

"Lena, _fuck_." Kara whimpered out, still moving against Lena's mouth.

It was messy, Kara could see that much when she glanced down, her wetness already smeared across Lena's pretty face. She thought maybe, this was her favourite look on Lena.

Kara was already so close from having fucked Lena with her fingers. She knew it wasn't going to take long, so after a particularly hard stroke, her legs began to shake. "You're gonna make me come, Lena." Kara moaned.

Kara almost expected Lena to slow down, but instead, Lena started sucking and licking with everything she had. It only took a few more seconds before Kara threw her head back, her body going completely still as she came on Lena's tongue.

After a few moments, Kara opened her eyes. She realised that part of the wooden headboard had broken off in her hands without her knowing and before she could even begin apologising, she felt Lena laughing beneath her.

Kara soon joined in, lifted herself off of Lena, moving down to lay beside her.

"Sorry." Kara smiled as their laughter died down.

"Don't be." Lena replied. Her hand went up to wipe away some of the come around her mouth and Kara couldn't help but blush.

There was an overwhelming feeling of relief and satisfaction coursing through Kara's body and it was all thanks to the girl lying beside her. "Thank you, Lena."

Lena gave her a small smile. "I should be thanking you, I don't think I've ever been fucked like that before."

Kara's blush deepened at that. She just fucked Lena and she was good. "Really?"

"Really." Lena replied. "I also think that was the first time I've ever heard you swear."

Kara threw her arm over her face, covering it while she giggled. "Shut up."

It was strange, Kara thought, how they could go from moaning each other's name to joking with each other so fast. It made Kara realise that things didn't have to change between just because Lena had helped her.

Kara glanced over at Lena just as she let out a yawn. "What time is it?" She asked.

Lena reached out for her phone that was charging on her bedside table and unlocked it. "It's only 10:40."

"Are you tired?" Kara questioned. Surely a one time thing would still be considered a one time thing if it happened on the same day.

"No." Lena swallowed hard.

"Maybe," Kara started, "Maybe I could taste you again?" Her hand inched across to Lena's thigh, her fingers dancing along the inside, "Properly, this time."

Without answering, Lena's legs fell open again and Kara took what she soon decided was her favourite place to be.

\----

Just as Lena had promised, nothing changed between the two girls. Nothing physically at least.

After what Lena could only describe as the best sex she had ever had, they carried only as though it was a normal sleepover, with Kara borrowing some pyjamas and crawling into the space beside Lena. They didn’t really talk about it, both too worn out and falling asleep despite it only being a little past 11:30pm.

In the morning, Lena woke to the sound of Kara’s soft snores, her arm casually draped around Lena’s middle. It was so typical and familiar that it took Lena a few seconds to have the memories of the previous night rush back to her. And with those memories came a profound wave of sadness, brought on by the fact that it was the first and last time that she would experience being with Kara like that.

Lena wasn’t stupid. She knew that Kara saw her only as a friend and whatever happened between them the previous night was nothing but a one time thing that she had offered to help her friend.

Yet, the selfish part of her didn’t regret it.

It was the same part of her that would take anything she could get from the clueless girl that she was in love with. Lena had come to the conclusion a few years back that having Kara in her life, even as just a friend, was better than not having her all together. So when she woke up, she ignored the dull ache between her legs begging her to stay and convince Kara that they should practice some more and instead slipped out of bed and began pottering around the kitchen, pulling together the ingredients for Kara’s favourite breakfast.

They didn’t talk about it that morning either.

Neither of them mentioned it the day after as well while Lena, Sam, Nia and Kara all sat around exchanging gifts and having their own little Christmas/end of midterm’s celebration. And when Kara handed her a rare 50th anniversary edition of To Kill a Mockingbird, Lena wanted nothing more than to thank her in a way she knew Kara would _undoubtedly_ like. There was a moment while they were in the middle of playing tipsy charades when Lena caught Kara glancing towards her bedroom with a certain look on her face and a faint blush rising on her cheeks. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but maybe Kara was thinking about it just as much as she was.

And _god_ was Lena thinking about it.

She thought about the way Kara’s strong fingers fit so perfectly inside her the entire drive to Metropolis. She thought about how soft Kara’s tongue had been against her, lapping away without a single stutter as she was forced to attend a Christmas party hosted by her mother. She thought about the sheer amount of strength that Kara was holding back as she fucked herself almost every night since it happened.

It wasn’t until she was coming down from one particularly strong orgasm, her hand clasped over her mouth and her own fingers drenched and slowing down that she thought _maybe_ , being just friends with Kara wasn’t enough anymore.

\---

“Hey, Kara?”

At the sound of her name, Kara was pulled from mindlessly looking down at the beach, not searching for anything specific, but more lost in her own head.

“Are you doing alright?” Alex asked. She handed Kara a mug of her special hot chocolate - one that Kara had been trying to figure out how to make for years, but was never just as good as how Alex made it - and sat down beside her on the swing chair. “You’ve been unusually quiet the past few days.”

Kara couldn’t deny that was true. She had been… _distant_ the entire time in Midvale. It had partially been due to the fact that she wanted to appreciate the quietness that came with her family home. Typically, holidays at the Danvers would consist of as many people they could fit in their back garden, an ungodly amount of food (even by Kara’s standards), and a generally loving and happy environment. But Christmas was slightly different. Ever since Jeremiah had died, Eliza had taken to celebrating Christmas with only the closest of people. And, while Kara did enjoy the other holidays, she always felt the most calm with a burning sense of love for the people around her during this time of year.

But, the other and far more prominent reason why she had been so distant was due to a certain dark haired girl.

Kara had been distracted, to say the least. The memories from that night had been seared into her mind, playing on repeat constantly since it had happened. She wouldn’t admit it to anybody, but the day after it happened, Kara had gone back to her dorm and cried from complete relief at the new knowledge that she could have sex without hurting someone. However, that feeling was instantly replaced with the idea that she didn’t want to have sex with _just_ somebody.

She wanted it to be Lena. Only Lena.

A number of things had happened since then. One, Kara finally admitted to herself that she was gay. She had been avoiding that thought for so long that when it finally popped into her mind, she stopped fighting it and just accepted it. She didn’t exactly have a fear about telling her sister and mother, Alex had come out the previous year and was met with nothing but love and acceptance. For Kara, it was just getting the timing right, which she had yet to do.

That was the easy part.

The second, and much more terrifying realisation that Kara had come to was that she was that she now saw Lena is a completely different way.

Kara wasn’t one hundred percent sure if it was in a romantic or just a purely sexual way, all she knew was that it was definitely more than a friendship. And it scared her because she didn’t want to change how they were.

Well- that wasn’t exactly true. Kara thought maybe adding an extra layer to their friendship, one that consisted of re-enacting that night a few more (or a lot more) times, wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen. In fact, with the way her stomach swooped at the thought of having Lena spread out for her again, it would be a very much adequate layer to add.

“Yeah, sorry.” Kara of all sudden remembered that she wasn’t alone, “There’s actually something I wanted to tell you…” Kara trailed off.

Kara had planned on waiting until the drive back to college with Alex to bring up the fact that she was gay, but now seemed like a good time. She wasn’t all that nervous, but her shaky hands were telling a different story.

“I think…” The words were sitting on the tip of her tongue and Kara knew that her apprehensiveness was somewhat irrational considering Alex herself was gay. But years of watching others struggle with this exact situation made her feel nervous. “I think I might be gay.”

It took Alex only a moment to respond. “You think?”

“No, I know.”

There was a few seconds of silence in which Kara’s heart was hammering rapidly in her chest.

That was before Alex let out a laugh. “Thank god!” She said, “I was wondering how long it was gonna take before you told me.”

“Wait, you already knew?” Kara asked.

Alex scoffed, “Kara, I hate to say it but you’re the least subtle person I know,” Kara rolled her eyes at that, a soft smile of comfort on her face. “I’ve known since you were like fifteen.”

Kara’s mouth hung open in surprise. “You knew before me?” God, maybe she really was bad at not picking up on hints, even when they were from herself.

“You haven’t known this whole time you were gay?” Alex asked, her eyebrows drawn together. Alex had told Kara when she came out that she knew she was gay basically all her life, maybe she had assumed that Kara was the same.

Kara shook her head. “No, I only properly figured it out in the past few weeks?”

“Did something happen, Kara?”

Immediately Kara thought of Lena, of having her fingers surrounded with her wet heat, of coming undone on Lena’s tongue and having Lena do the same on hers. “Ughh nope, it just kinda… hit me?” She lied, praying that her apparent unsubtleness wouldn’t give her away.

If Alex knew something, she didn’t say and Kara was entirely grateful for it. As close as she was to her sister, discussing her sex life was something that she would rather not do. Besides, in some way, Kara liked knowing that what she and Lena had done was just between the two of them. It gave her a chance to figure out how she was feeling for herself, without the influence of other people.

“So, are you gonna tell mom?” Alex asked tentatively, unsure as to whether Kara was ready for that just yet.

Kara nodded her head. “Yeah,” She said thoughtfully. With the way her sister had reacted to it, Kara felt calm, the comfort of knowing Alex was there to support her giving her confidence. She knew not to be anxious about the way Eliza would react. After all, her adoptive mother did insist on going to a pride parade the year Alex had come out. “But I might need your help.” Kara quickly added, not wanting to do it alone.

Alex just gave her a smile, mumbling how proud of Kara she was as they made their way into the house to find Eliza.

\---

Kara spent the rest of that day repacking her bags for heading back up to college. She had initially planned to stay in Midvale till the New Year had passed, content on spending alone with Eliza while Alex travelled back up to National City to celebrate it with her girlfriend, Kelly. But, as per instance from her mother, Kara was told to go enjoy bringing in the New Year with her friends.

Eliza had taken Kara's coming out unsurprisingly well, with a simple kiss on the cheek and the words _I love you no matter what_ softly said. Kara had a gut feeling that, just like Alex, Eliza had already caught onto it long before she herself had.

Just as Kara was putting the last of her bags in Alex's car, her phone let out a chime.

_(Lena🥼🤓 5:28pm): Please tell me you'll be back soon? I've been here 5 hours and Sam has already made me watch 3 Disney movies._

Kara chuckled at the message, knowing full well how Sam always had to get her way when it came to movies.

_(Alien👽 5:29pm): I'll be back late tonight. Distract her with wine, it always works :)_

_(Lena🥼🤓 5:29pm): She's already drunk all my wine :/ We still on for tomorrow?_

_(Alien👽 5:30pm): Of course! Wouldn't miss it for the world_

_(Lena🥼🤓 5:30pm): ❤_

After the reactions from Alex and Eliza, Kara decided that she should probably tell her friends about her recent revelation at the small party they were planning the next day for New Year's. Well, one of the revelations at least. There was no way Kara was about to go around telling everyone that she had amazing sex with her best friend and now possibly and almost definitely had feelings for said best friend.

"Who's got you smiling like an idiot?" Alex asked as she got into the driver’s side of the car.

"Could it be a girl?" She said in a singsong tone.

Kara rolled her eyes at Alex, a small smile playing on her face. This was a new thing for them. In the past, Alex never teased Kara about any of the crushes that she had - mainly because they were few and far between.

And it's not that Kara had a crush on Lena or anything.

It's just…

Well, she had never gone through anything like this before. And it wasn't just the fact that she had sex that was new. It was the constant thinking about Lena, getting distracted by the idea of spending time with her, thinking about how _goddamn pretty_ she was.

"No, it's just Lena." Kara answered and hoped that the questions would stop there.

"Lena is a girl." Alex replied, her lips pushed slightly and eyebrows raised as if she was hinting at something.

Kara, internally panicking because _how the fuck had Alex figured it out so fast_ , decided to reply the only way she knew how in these situations - with sarcasm. "Whoa no way! How did that slip past me?" The look Alex was giving her kind of told her it hadn't worked. "What about it?"

Alex just shrugged her shoulders and turned on the ignition. "Nothing, just… Observing."

"Well observe faster, I'm already hungry and it's a three hour drive." Kara resorted. She wanted this conversation to be over.

"Put on your shitty 80s playlist and I'll make it a four hour drive."

The journey did end up being a four hour drive and Kara happily blasted her 80s playlist on repeat.

\---

Lena was just finishing the last bit of cleaning for the party that night by the time she heard the door opening. When Sam’s brown hair came into view, she couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed, Lena was hoping Kara would get there first so they could talk. Not that she knew what she was going to say or even if she would say anything at all.

 _God_.

Her head had been a mess for the past week. Lena knew she was breaking her own heart by offering to sleep with Kara in the first place, but she just couldn’t help herself. And now, she was breaking her heart even more at the idea that Kara could possibly feel the same. She knew it was stupid, Jesus- she didn’t even know if Kara was actually gay or if she was just experimenting. But still, Lena just couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to have Kara in the way she wanted.

“Hey, I brought you wine!” Sam said, breaking Lena out of her incredibly unrealistic daydream.

“You mean you’re replacing all the wine you drank last night?” Lena bit back.

Lena wouldn’t dare admit it to anyone, but she actually enjoyed Sam’s company. She was one of the only people who could keep up with Lena’s snarky comments, always giving back what she got and never actually being offended when Lena got a little bitchy. They were so similar, both having come from business oriented families and knowing that each of them would eventually take over their respective companies. Well, Lena would as soon as Lex would inevitably run off to spend his fortunes in god knows where. And even though Lena was hesitant to take over LuthorCorp someday, she felt slightly better knowing that Sam was in the same position as she was.

“Don’t act like I was drinking alone.” Sam replied, reaching for two wine glasses and opening the bottle, already knowing almost too well where everything was. “When is Nia and Kara getting here?”

Lena shrugged her shoulders. “Probably soon, Kara texted me just before you got here saying that they had already left.”

Sam turned to Lena, handing her the wine glass before moving to sit on one of the stools by the kitchen table. “That actually reminds me, what happened with you and Kara at the party before Christmas break?”

Lena’s heart stopped for a moment. That party had felt like it happened ages ago. “What do you mean?” Lena took a sip of her wine, wanting desperately for Sam to stop talking about this particular topic.

“Well, I saw you and Kara dancing- very close might I add, and by the end of the night, you two were acting… _weird_.”

In all fairness, Kara was the one who was acting weird by the end of that night. She was the one who had gone completely silent after the police showed up and yes maybe that was Lena’s fault for bringing up the whole sex thing, but Lena wasn’t one to hold herself accountable.

“Maybe we were just drunk, honestly Sam, I don’t really remember.” That was a lie. Lena actually vividly remembered dancing with Kara. She remembered Kara looking down at her like she was about to lean in. She remembered Kara’s hands gripping her waist, sending sparks of desires coursing through her body. She remembered those same hands holding her hips down and fucking her into the mattress.

Okay, maybe she should _stop_ remembering things.

Sam just narrowed her eyes in response. “Okay, whatever you say.”

Thankfully, the front door opened before Sam could press the subject any further and both Kara and Nia walked in, holding some card game as well as a few drinks.

“Happy New Year’s eve!” Kara announced as she reached the table where the two girls were sitting.

Sam, being Sam, grabbed the bottles that Nia was holding, inspecting them before nodding her head as if giving her approval over the choice of alcohol.

“You guys have a good Christmas?” Nia asked.

Lena stood from her chair to get a couple more glasses.

And Kara- well Kara’s mouth dropped open, nearly dropping the cards she was holding as she let her eyes roam over what Lena was wearing. It wasn’t like… Lena didn’t specifically dress up to impress Kara or make her do a double take or anything. _Although_ , the thought did cross her mind as she decided to wear a black mesh top with a black bra that could be seen under, tucked into probably the tightest jeans she owned. Kara’s reaction was simply just a benefit.

With a smirk playing on her face, Lena handed a glass to Kara, letting her thumb brush along the back of her hand in a way that looked friendly, but didn’t _feel_ like it.

“Same old,” Lena replied to Nia, trying to shake the thought of her and Kara from her head. “Just the typical silent family dinners and boring parties.”

Sam hummed in agreement, her Christmas being somewhat similar to Lena’s. “Hey Nia, remember that girl I was telling you about? The one with the insane tattoos?”

“Sam, you didn’t!” Nia gushed. Lena had already heard all about that girl, in a bit more detail than she would have liked. “You’re telling me everything, right now.” Clearly, Nia was a fan of hearing those kinds of details.

Sam grabbed Nia’s arm and pulled her into the living room, Lena catching Sam saying “You would not believe where that tattoo starts and ends.”

And now, it was just Kara and Lena left.

“Hi.” Kara almost whispered, moving a bit closer to Lena. “I missed you.” That was a totally normal thing for Kara to say. Friends say that all the time - she says it practically every time they don’t see each other for over a day. _Totally normal._

That still didn’t stop Lena from overthinking.

“I missed you too.” Lena said back. Kara didn’t need to know _exactly_ what she missed, but Lena truly did miss her best friend, even regardless of everything else.

“I… um,” Kara stuttered out, reaching up to fiddle with her glasses, “I actually have to talk to you about something.”

 _Oh_.

This could go one of two ways. Either, Lena was about to get her heart completely shattered. Or. She was about to get the one thing she's wanted since meeting Kara. Lena had never really believed in any god, but in that half of a second, she prayed harder than she had ever done in her life.

Kara took a breath before speaking again. “Well, I have to talk to everyone, actually.”

Or none of the above.

Lena was confused. Surely Kara wasn’t planning on telling Lena that what happened between them was a mistake in front of Sam and Nia… right? No, Kara wasn’t that kind of person. And there was no way Kara would even bring up the fact that they had sex in front of the two girls.

“Is everything okay?” Lena asked, unsure of what Kara had to say.

“Yeah, it’s not a bad thing,” her hand was still playing with the rim of her glasses, “Or, at least I hope not, like I really, really hope not. But I know it’s not because that just wouldn’t make sense, all things considered. Actually, come to think of it-”

“Kara, breathe for a second.” Lena interrupted her sudden nervous rambling.

Kara took a deep breath, visibly relaxing a bit after Lena placed her hand on top of Kara’s, giving it a small squeeze. “Sorry, I’m just a bit anxious.”

“Whatever it is Kara, you don’t have to be nervous to tell us.” It was strange, Lena thought. Seeing Kara like this reminded her of when she herself came out to her mother.

Wait a _goddamn_ second.

“Okay, I’m ready.” Kara took another deep breath and walked into the living room, leaving Lena in the kitchen, stunned and with about a hundred thoughts racing through her mind. No, there was no way this was actually happening.

Lena finally made a move to the living room, taking a seat next to Sam and Nia on the couch. The same couch that she and Kara had been sitting on not so long ago, but that was a different thought for a different time. The other two girls must have noticed that something was happening when Kara stood in front of them, her hands clenched and swinging at her sides.

Lena was still trying to process everything in her head when Kara said, “I have something to say.” She cleared her throat and her hands stopped swinging. “I’m gay.”

And there it was.

It shouldn’t have surprised Lena, really. For god sake, she literally had Kara’s fingers inside her, but still. Some part of her always denied the fact that Kara might have been gay just because if Kara was straight, it would at least be a less painful reason as to why she didn’t feel the same way about Lena as Lena felt about her.

The room was totally silent for a few seconds and Lena swore she could almost hear Kara’s heart thumping from her place on the couch.

“Called it, Nia pay the fuck up.”

“Dammit Kara, why couldn’t you have been bi?”

“You guys _bet_ on me?” Kara gasped in shock.

Nia just rolled her eyes, fishing out money from her back pocket. “Of course we did.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, “You’re not exactly subtle, Kara.”

Kara shook her head. “That’s exactly what my sister said.” Kara eventually looked over at Lena once she realised that the dark haired girl had yet to say something. “Lena?”

Lena’s eyes snapped up to Kara’s. She couldn’t figure out if this was a good thing or not. If Kara was gay, Lena might actually have a chance. But, then again, Kara could just not feel that way about Lena. “Congrats on coming out, Kara. I’m really happy for you.” That’s all she got to say before Sam and Nia were jumping up to wrap Kara in a hug. Even then, Lena could feel Kara’s eyes on her.

It wasn’t until twenty minutes later that Lena got up, deciding that she needed more wine and made her way back to the kitchen. They were currently in the middle of watching yet another Disney movie with the volume low so that they could talk over it about Nia’s Christmas and her recent developments with Brainy. Lena hadn’t realised that Kara followed her into the kitchen until she cleared her throat to get her attention.

“Are you okay?” Kara questioned Lena.

It wasn’t as though she didn’t want to talk to Kara. But she just didn’t know what to say. “Yeah, just need another drink.”

Kara inched closer to where Lena stood at the counter. “I mean are you okay with me?”

“Of course I am.” Lena began fiddling with the wine bottle, trying to distract herself from looking at Kara and how close they were. God. This whole thing was so stupid. Lena promised Kara nothing would change between them and now- now all Lena wanted was for things to change.

“Then why are you acting like this?”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Like I’ve done something wrong.” Kara looked almost scared, “Is this because we had sex?” She asked in a small voice.

Lena let out a sigh, setting the bottle of wine down and turning to Kara. She could cope with seeing Kara so unsure and nervous, knowing she was the cause of it. “No, it’s not that… it’s just-”

“You regret it?” Kara interrupted. She took a step back from Lena as if she suddenly thought it was making Lena uncomfortable.

“No!” Lena replied a little too fast. “I don’t regret it, I promise Kara.”

“Then what is it?” Kara sounded almost desperate.

Lena noticed that her hands were shaking. Telling Kara about her feelings just wasn’t an option. She couldn’t admit to her that the reason why she was acting so strange was because she was in love with her and, now that Kara had come out, all she could think about was Kara loving her back.

_Which she didn’t._

And that’s exactly why Lena couldn’t say anything. “It’s nothing. I just had a shitty time and home and now I’m… frustrated.” At least that wasn’t a lie. Lena did have a particularly frustrating time with her mother and Lex. Her mother did nothing but criticise her decision to go to college instead of going straight to LuthorCorp, as well as introduce her to more than a few ‘well respected’ boys because apparently liking girls just wasn’t an option. And Lex, well he only appeared for one day, hardly sparing Lena a hello before leaving for meetings with investors.

“Sexually?” Yes, that too.

Lena didn’t answer, instead bringing her glass to her lips and taking a long sip.

“I could help, if you wanted me to?” Kara continued. “Just like you helped me.”

Lena’s breathing got heavier just from Kara’s words. She couldn’t do this again. She could know what it was like to be with Kara, only to have it taken away from her for a second time. But fuck. Kara was giving her the same look she had the first time it happened and Lena had to clench her jaw to stop imagining what it would be like if Kara pushed her up against the counter and had her way with her.

“Do you want me to help, Lena?” Kara asked again, this time getting closer, letting her hand drop to the counter and almost trapping Lena against it.

She couldn’t say yes. Lena wasn’t going to allow herself to get any further into this mess than she already was.

“ _Yes_.”

Well, at least she tried. Truly, Lena had intended on saying no. And maybe it was because her brain could function properly when Kara was this close to her, or maybe it was because she just desperately wanted Kara to fuck her again. But now she couldn’t take it back. And maybe she didn’t want to take it back.

But rather than saying anything back, Kara took a step back from Lena which she found confusing until Nia appeared in the kitchen, an empty glass in hand. Kara must have heard her coming and Lena couldn’t help but be thankful. The last thing she needed right now was Sam and Nia asking them a hundred and one questions.

“How long does it take you to refill a wine glass?” Nia asked sarcastically as she reached for the bottle.

Lena replied with a nervous laugh, feeling as though they had just been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been doing. “Sorry, I was just telling Kara how proud I am of her for coming out.”

Kara’s eyes immediately snapped to her own and she had such a soft smile on her face that it made Lena’s heart ache. She honestly was proud of Kara and she hoped that in that moment, Kara could feel how sincere Lena was being.

Nia slung her arms around Kara’s shoulders and leaned in to give her a friendly kiss on the cheek. “We’re all proud of you, Kara.” Lena noted that Kara’s eyes began shining with tears and Nia must have seen it too as she lightened the mood by adding, “Now come back out to the living room and let us annoy you with some inappropriate questions.”

Kara laughed and quickly wiped under her eyes as Nia led the two girls back out to the couch.

\---

“So when did you figure it out?”

Nia wasn’t lying when she said they were going to bombard Kara with inappropriate questions. Not that they had asked anything that she didn’t particularly want to answer just yet, but Kara knew Sam and was very aware that they were well on their way to getting to the heavy stuff.

Kara still didn’t really know how to answer that question. The idea had always been in the back of her mind, trying to push its way out, but she always stopped herself from thinking about it. It wasn’t until she had Lena spread out under her that she realised there was no way she could go back to thinking like she did before.

“Pretty recently.” Was all she replied with, not wanting to go into the full story.

“So does this mean I can set you up on a date with a girl?” Sam asked with a hopeful grin on her face.

It was then that Kara realised she’d yet to consider actually pursuing other girls since she came to terms with it. Her only thoughts had been directed towards Lena. She didn’t know how to feel about that. She didn’t even know if she wanted to see other girls. “I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet.”

Kara’s eyes quickly drifted over to Lena for about the hundredth time that night, only to find the dark haired girl looking back at her with what Kara thought - or hoped - was a look of relief.

Kara didn’t know what made her act the way she had in the kitchen. Seeing Lena dressed the way she was and remembering what it was like to see her _without_ clothes on made her feel as though she was burning from the inside out. And when Lena admitted to feeling frustrated, Kara couldn’t help but think about how Lena had helped her with her own frustrations. She hadn’t even stopped to consider what would have happened if Lena said no, if it would make things even more confusing than they already were, but none of that mattered. Lena had said _yes_. And just the idea of having sex with her again made Kara shift with an uncomfortable heat pooling in her lower belly.

By the time they had all gathered around to watch the countdown till midnight, Lena had moved closer to Kara on the couch, their legs brushing against each other and sending waves of heat coursing through Kara’s body.

And when it finally hit midnight, everyone let out loud cheers of celebration and wrapped each other in tight hugs, but all Kara wanted to do was kiss Lena.

\---

It wasn’t until a little after 1am that Sam and Nia decided to leave. And by leave it meant Nia was about to go to Brainy’s and Sam was about to go god knows where.

Lena watched as Kara loitered around her apartment just as the two girls were saying their goodbyes, seemingly unsure as to whether Lena was okay with her staying.

“Kara, are you sharing an uber with us?” Sam had asked.

Kara looked at Lena apprehensively. “I- I think I might stay here for a bit, if that’s okay with you, Lena?”

It was strange, Lena thought. Before that incident in the kitchen, she was so determined to stop herself from feeling certain ways about her best friend, to stop imagining what it would be like to have Kara fuck her again. But now she knew Kara wanted it as well. Kara offered. Just as she had weeks ago.

So, in the short hours between what happened in the kitchen and now, Lena had developed a new mentality. _Fuck it._ They had already slept together once, one more time surely couldn’t make much of a difference. 

“Of course.” Was all Lena could say, her mouth feeling suddenly dry. There was tension between them and Lena was praying that Sam and Nia couldn’t see it.

A few minutes later, Sam and Nia’s uber had pulled up, leaving Kara and Lena alone in her apartment.

An awkward silence fell over them as Lena closed the front, neither of them knowing what was about to happen. Kara was the one to speak first, “Do you wanna watch another movie or something?” She asked.

Lena couldn’t help but laugh to herself. To her, Kara was like two completely different people. First, there was sweet and innocent Kara Danvers who always paid for Lena’s coffee when they went out, despite Lena having more money than she could spend. It’s the same Kara who always hugs her a bit tighter when she knows Lena just had a fight with her mother, the same one who always carries Lena to her bed when she falls asleep on the couch.

And then there the Kara that holds her down as she fucks her with her fingers. The one that drips with confidence as she whispers things in Lena’s ear.

Lena couldn’t decide which Kara she preferred. But she knew which one she wanted at that moment.

Rather than giving her an answer, Lena moved closer to Kara, reaching out to place her hands on her stomach and bunching the soft material of Kara’s shirt in her hands. “I don’t want to watch a movie, Kara.”

And just like that, they were kissing.

It’s somehow better than before, in Lena’s opinion. Kara’s lips were soft but firm against her own and, unlike the first time this happened, their kisses were desperate instead of the slow and unsure. Kara’s hands went down to her hips, pulling their bodies closer together.

“I thought you said this was a one time thing.” Kara said between kisses.

Lena’s hands snaked up and around Kara’s neck. “Do you want to stop?” She breathed out heavily against the blondes lips.

Kara’s eyes suddenly looked darker than before as she shook her head. Lena felt Kara's hands drop lower until they reached the back of her thighs, gripping them as she hoisted Lena up, her hands resting on her ass. The display of strength resulted in Lena whimpering out an unintentional moan.

Their lips collided again in a heated rush. Lena’s tongue slid against Kara’s lip, causing her to tighten her grip on Lena’s ass and push her against the nearest surface, which happened to be a half empty table. Once Lena was comfortably sat on the table, her legs wrapped around Kara’s waist, pulling them together. Kara slipped her hands under Lena’s shirt, just resting them against her sides and making Lena melt into the heat of her touch.

Some part of Lena knew that they should probably stop and talk about what is happening, maybe figure out exactly what the other was feeling before continuing. But when Kara’s thigh tenses against her centre, all Lena could think about is the tight pressure that's building up within her, desperately wanting to get rid of the barriers between them and feel Kara’s skin against her own.

Lena found it easy to get lost in the way Kara kisses her. She kisses her like it was the last time she’d ever be able to do it and it was with a heart wrenching pull that Lena realised, maybe it was the last time they’d do this. With that thought running through her mind, Lena reached to pull her own shirt up and over her head, breaking the kiss and making Kara glance down at the black bra she had been staring at all night through the mesh top. Kara’s mouth gaped as though she had never seen Lena like this before and it made Lena’s cheeks burn at the attention.

Kara dipped her head until her tongue fit perfectly in the hollow of Lena’s neck before licking up and sucking in a place she remembered from last time that made Lena’s head fall back and body arch towards her. Lena knew that she was most likely going to be wearing turtle necks or a lot of makeup for the next few days, but it felt too good to care.

Lena could already feel how uncomfortably wet she’d gotten when Kara spread her legs wider, making space so that she could kiss and suck her way down Lena’s chest, reaching the swell of her breasts. Kara wasted no time in slipping her hands around Lena’s back, looking to Lena for permission before unhooking the clasp once Lena gave her a small nod. Lena’s bra falling from her chest made Kara slow her actions, something that Lena was grateful as it gave her a second to _breathe_ but also made her restless, itching for Kara to just fucking touch her.

Kara slowly dragged her thumbs across Lena’s newly exposed nipples, catching on the metal bars and tugging on them lightly. It made Lena groan and spread her legs wider. “Kara…” Lena whispered, pleading for her to just do _something_.

Kara looked up at her with a smirk, tugging at her nipples again before licking one into her mouth. Lena’s hands fisted in her hair at the sensation of Kara’s wet tongue. Lena wondered for a second if it was supposed to feel as good as it did. She had had past flings and a few one night stands in which similar situations had happened, but none of them had ever felt like her entire body was on fire and it was only Kara that could ease her pain.

Kara’s mouth continued sucking bruises onto Lena’s pale skin, soothing the pleasurable pain with her tongue before moving on to the next spot. It wasn’t until she heard her name being called that Lena saw Kara fiddling with the button of her jeans, trying to undo it with shaky hands. Lena reached down to help Kara and then proceeded to stand up, letting Kara pull her jeans as well as her underwear down her legs and then dragging their lips together again.

There was a second between them where things seemed to pause. Kara was panting against Lena’s mouth as she swallowed hard. The first time they had done this, they took their time, figuring out what the other liked and if doing certain things was okay. But this time was different. Everything was rushed and frantic in an attempt to just _finally_ touch each other again.

“Is this okay?” Kara asked hotly against her lips. It made Lena’s heart clench at the reminder that it was still the sweet and caring Kara Danvers that was always there for her, making sure she was okay and comfortable. And she truly did love that side of her and she always would, but in that moment, all Lena wanted was for Kara to ruin her.

“I need you to fuck me, Kara.”

That instantly pulled a reaction out of Kara, making her drop to her knees and spread Lena’s legs again.

And _fuck_.

Lena thought it was just about the hottest thing she’d ever seen. Kara began trailing kisses along the inside of her thighs, biting playfully at the skin there, but avoiding where Lena needed her the most. Lena tried to relieve some of the pressure by clenching her legs together, but Kara stopped her, pushing them apart and staring at her dripping cunt with dark eyes.

It was clear that Kara was trying to keep her control by the way her knuckles turned white as her hand tightened around her own thigh. But that thought completely left Lena as she felt Kara lean in and flatten her tongue against her cunt, slowly swiping upwards until it lay directly on Lena’s clit. A helpless whine escaped Lena as Kara’s mouth moved with enthusiasm, keeping up a steady rhythm and Lena had never been so grateful for the fact that Kara had unbelievable stamina.

“Fuck, Kara -” Lena gasped, as Kara lifted her legs up and rested them over her shoulders, opening her up more to Kara’s tongue. “Kara, Kara, you feel so good.” Lena was almost embarrassed at how close she was already, but she blamed it on the fact that this was all she had been thinking about for the past few weeks and now it was actually happening again. And it was everything.

Lena’s hips began rocking against Kara’s mouth and she wondered if maybe she should care about the almost pornographic noises Kara was pulling out of her. But then Kara hummed against her clit, sending vibrations through her body and Lena decided against caring.

Just as Lena thought it couldn’t possibly get any better, she felt Kara’s finger slid against her entrance, only dipping in slightly before pulling out again. Lena’s hips chanted forward at the prospect of being filled and Kara took the hint, slipping two fingers inside easily until she was knuckle deep.

Kara’s fingers began curling upwards, repeatedly hitting the spot that made Lena arch her back and pull Kara’s hair so hard that it would without a doubt hurt a human.

After one particularly hard suck, Lena let out a loud moan and her legs tighten around Kara. “Are you gonna come on my tongue?” Kara panted against Lena’s cunt.

There was something about hearing Kara say such vulgar words that made Lena clench around her fingers, knowing Kara was saying them to her and only her. “Yes, _yes, fuck_ Kara -” It only took a few more messy strokes before Lena was tumbling over the edge, grinding herself against Kara as her orgasm shook through her entire body.

Kara helped her through, slowing her tongue and gently pulling out her fingers once Lena’s body visibly deflated with satisfaction.

Once Lena’s body stopped trembling, she pulled Kara up from between her legs and met her in a messy kiss. She moaned at the taste of herself on Kara’s tongue. Lena, wanting to pull a reaction out of Kara, grabbed her hand and took the still wet fingers that had just been inside her to her lips, swiping her tongue and licking them before wrapping her lips around them.

Kara watched with wide eyes, completely unmoving and sucking in a harsh breath as if she forgot to breathe for a second. “So do you wanna watch that movie now?” Kara joked.

“Actually,” Lena began, pushing on Kara’s chest until she could stand from the table on shaky legs, “There’s something I want to try.”

It wasn’t really something Lena had thought of until recently. Not really, anyway. It was during Christmas break that she imagined what it would be like, and after multiple orgasms that were drawn out from those particular scenarios she’d created in her head, Lena had craved to know what it would _actually_ feel like. And now she had a chance.

And so, Lena led Kara to her bedroom still completely naked, telling her to sit on the bed as she rummaged through her drawers until finally pulling out two items.

“Oh…” Was all that Kara could say as her eyes were pulled to what Lena was holding.

“We don’t have to,” Lena replied quickly, not wanting to make Kara uncomfortable.

“No, I want to - I’ve actually thought about it before. “ Kara admitted, standing from the bed and making her way over to Lena, “But am I wearing it or are you?”

Lena laughed, handing Kara the dildo and harness. “You are,” She said before adding, “Unless you want me to?”

A blush instantly made its way onto Kara's face as she let out a nervous chuckle, “No, I um- I wanna wear it.”

Lena watched as Kara’s eyes studied the dildo in her hand. It wasn’t exactly small, but Lena had grown use to taking the eight inches in her alone time. “Do you want to put it on?” Lena asked.

Kara nodded her head, seemingly lost for words as she set the items down on the bed and began stripping off her shirt. Lena helped her, undoing the button of Kara’s jeans and slipping them down her legs along with the boy shorts she was wearing. Kara struggled for a moment, trying to figure how to put the harness on, attaching the dildo through the ring and eventually pulling it around her hips.

“Wait,” Lena said before Kara could tighten the straps. Lena went back to the same drawer and pulled out a smaller item. “Here.” She handed it to Kara, who looked slightly confused as to what to do with it. “It’s a bullet vibrator,” Lena explained, “You put it here.” Lena pulled back the base of the harness, slipping the bullet into the small pocket that would sit directly on Kara’s centre.

She listened as Kara drew in a shaky breath when she tightened the straps, the base of it pressing against her clit. Lena smirked up at her. Gone was the Kara who confidently dropped to her knees and lapped at Lena’s cunt like it was the first meal she’d ever had. It was replaced by a timid version of her, eager but unsure.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked as Kara squeezed her eyes shut. Kara nodded her head and it became clear that she was trying to keep control. “Hey, you’re not going to hurt me, Kara.” Lena said, reaching up and setting her hands on Kara’s cheeks. Kara finally opened her eyes and looked down at her. Lena placed a soft kiss on Kara’s lips, trying to reassure her. “Come here.”

Lena pulled Kara towards the bed, letting her scoot up and rest against the headboard before moving to straddle Kara’s lap. Lena sucked in a heavy breath as the dildo lightly pressed against her clit. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” Lena said.

“Okay.” Was all Kara replied with.

They met again in a heated kiss, Kara’s hands dropping to grasp Lena’s waist and pull her closer. The side of the dildo repeatedly slid along Lena’s cunt, undoubtedly getting soaked in her wetness.

Lena reached between them and wedged her fingers behind the base of the harness, pressing the button that turned on the vibrator and filling the room with a light buzzing sound. Kara’s hips instantly jolted into Lena’s at the sensation, a strangled moan falling from her lips as she tightened her grip on Lena.

“Does that feel good?” Lena whispered in her ear, trailing wet kisses along Kara’s jaw and sucking marks into the skin on her neck.

“ _Yes_.” Kara answered, her hips chanting up in time with Lena grinding on the dildo as the vibrator pressed on her clit harder every time Lena moved.

“Do you wanna fuck me?” Lena asked, realising that she had control of what was happening while Kara was getting lost in her own pleasure.

Kara’s head fell back and she panted, “Fuck, Lena…”

Lena grinned as she sat up from her lap slightly, letting Kara watch as she lined the tip of the dildo with her entrance and slowly sank down. Lena clenched hard around it as she was being filled and it was clear that Kara had to restrain herself from bucking up and bottoming out.

Once Lena was bottomed out, they both let out a sound of pleasure. And, just as she was about to start moving, Kara stopped her. “I just - I need a second.”

They were both breathing heavily and Lena was aching for Kara to do something, to fuck her in the way that she wanted. Instead, Kara moved her hand, her thumb sliding along Lena’s clit and making her jolt forward. Lena could feel the soft vibrations and it was driving her mad.

After a few more moments of Kara rubbing hard circles on her clit and Lena clenching around the dildo, Kara _finally_ thrusted up. It was completely too soft and gentle, but that quickly changed as Lena began moving her own hips, meeting Kara’s thrusts. Kara’s hands reached around to grab Lena’s ass, helping her grind.

Lena’s moan got lost in Kara’s mouth as she pulled them together. Their kiss was a mess of teeth and tongue, neither of them being able to fully focus on anything but the building heat between them.

“Fuck, Kara - _Kara_ -” Lena’s moans were getting higher in pitch the harder Kara was thrusting into her. Lena could already tell that Kara’s lap was a mess, covered in the wetness that had dripped down from the strap.

At one point, Kara held Lena’s hips still, not letting her move as she pulled out almost completely before plunging back in. The sound that came out of Lena made Kara’s eyes darken just as they had when she was on her knees for Lena. In an instant, Kara had them flipped over with Lena’s chest pressed into her mattress and her ass in the air. Lena whined at the sudden loss of Kara filling her, but that was swiftly replaced with a strangled gasp for air as Kara entered her again, promptly bottoming out in the first thrust.

“Is this what you want, Lena?” Kara asked breathlessly and Lena became aware of how Kara had once again taken control of what was happening. “Is this how you like to be fucked?”

Lena couldn’t reply. Her words got choked up in the throat as Kara went harder and faster than before. She knew for sure the backs of her thighs were going to be bruised tomorrow and that thought made her tighten around the dildo. She wanted to be able to feel it for days after.

“Yes, _yes, fuck Kara,_ it feels so _fucking_ _good_.”

Lena could feel every inch of her. Kara’s hands kept their place on Lena’s hips, holding her steady as she fucked into her. “You’re taking it so well, Lena.”

And _fuck_. The praise from Kara made her Lena dig her hands into the mattress and press her mouth against her forearm just to stop from screaming out. “Don’t do that,” Kara said, slowing her hips slightly. Lena felt one of Kara’s hands thread in her hair and pull. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt, but it made her head tilt back and a moan drip from her lips. “I wanna hear your pretty noises.” Kara’s hips resumed the same pace as before and Lena could feel tears forming in the corners of her eyes from how _fucking good_ it was.

Kara’s hips stuttered for a second as the bullet shifted, making it press even firmer into her clit and Lena could tell that she was close. It did nothing to slow Kara down though. If anything, she started going faster and it made Lena spread her legs wider, letting Kara hit a deeper spot. “You’re gonna make me come.” Lena whined.

“Yeah?” Kara panted. Lena suddenly felt Kara reach around, her fingers finding her clit and pinching it before rubbing. Even though it slowed the movements of her hips, the sensation was too overwhelming for Lena. “Are you gonna be a good girl and come for me?”

 _Fuck_.

Lena usually cringed at words like that, but hearing it from Kara as she was thrusting into her cunt and toying with her clit made Lena ache. And when Kara’s hand forcefully went down to spank Lena’s ass, she was coming _hard_ around the dildo.

Lena was pretty sure she must have lost a few seconds after her vision became blurred and her orgasm ripped through her. But Kara kept going, chasing her own pleasure. It only took a few more thrusts before Kara’s hips went completely still and her entire body shook at her release.

Slowly, Kara pulled out of Lena and reached down to turn off the vibrator that was still buzzing against her. She helped Lena flip over and onto her back before loosening the straps of the harness and pulling it down her legs. Lena caught a glimpse of the absolute mess that they had made on the strap on and made a mental note to buy a new one at some stage.

They lay side by side, both trying to catch their breath. Lena had never felt so spent and satisfied in her entire life.

“Was that okay?” Kara asked, a hint of worry seeping into her voice, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Lena simply laughed. “I’ve never come that hard before.” She said before adding, “And I promise, you didn’t hurt me.”

The comment made Kara smile. “Really?” The hopefulness in Kara’s voice sent a pang of a complete adoration through Lena’s chest. For a moment, she let herself forget about everything else. All of the worry and fear surrounding her feeling towards Kara just disappeared in those few seconds and all Lena felt was _happy_.

Lena let out a hum of reassurance. “Really.” She replied, trailing her hand along Kara’s stomach and scratching it lightly. “So… are we done or can I find out how you feel around my fingers?”

Kara’s eyes went comically wide before she grinned and pulled Lena on top of her. Needless to say, they _definitely_ had a good start to the year.

\---

In the morning Kara woke to the feeling of Lena’s soft breath on her neck. They had fallen asleep late last night - or early morning, Kara didn’t check the time before basically passing out - at their respective sides of the bed. Lena had always insisted that she couldn’t sleep while cuddling, but the way her arm was slung across Kara’s torso and her head was resting on her chest, Kara wasn’t so sure she believed Lena anymore.

The previous night, after multiple rounds of mind blowing _activities_ , Kara came to a realisation. She blamed it on the post orgasmic bliss clouding her judgement, but as she listened to the soft snores coming from Lena, Kara came to the conclusion that this was exactly where she wanted to be.

The first time this happened, Kara knew she saw Lena in a different light. But she thought it was purely just a sexual thing, an attraction that stemmed from the fact that they had sex. Now, Kara knew it was more than that.

She thought, maybe, she’d always been a little bit in love with Lena. Kara, for as long as she could remember, always had strong feelings for her best friend. Yet she constantly told herself _that's just what friendships were like_. And even when she became friends with Nia and Sam, even when Kara knew it was _different_ than her friendship with Lena, she just couldn’t admit it.

Kara knew she should tell Lena, call this thing they had going on between them off before she got hurt. But, god, everything inside her begged just to stay as they were, laying in bed together. Kara wanted so badly to wake up like this every morning.

“Hey, what’s got you thinking so hard?”

Kara almost jumped at the sound of Lena’s voice, not having heard her wake up. She glanced down at Lena with her messy hair and sleepy eyes.

“Nothin’” Kara answered, her heart aching at the sight of Lena. “Just thinking of ways to get you to stop drooling on me.”

Lena laughed and rolled off Kara, the blanket exposing the top of her chest and Kara had to stop herself from looking. “I don't drool.”

“Yes you do.” Kara propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at Lena as she rolled her eyes in response.

“Shut up.” Lena said and poked Kara’s stomach under the duvet.

Kara couldn’t do this. She couldn’t physically cope with seeing Lena like this, so soft and happy without blurting out what she was feeling.

So instead, Kara sat up, her eyes drifting around for the shirt she’d throw away in a haste last night. “I’m ugh… I’m gonna go get us some coffee.” She rushed, finally seeing her shirt.

Kara stood, leaving Lena with a confused look on her face, and began gathering her clothes.

“Are you sure? I have coffee here.” Lena replied, sitting up full and exposing her entire chest.

Kara had to clench her jaw to stop imagining what it would be like to crawl back into the bed and pick up where they left off last night. But instead, she just reminded herself that Lena was her best friend. And friends weren't supposed to feel this way about each other.

“No, its fine, gotta support local businesses and all…” Kara cringed at herself. There was no way Lena couldn’t sense that something was off with the way she was acting.

Lena just gave her a strange look as she managed to find a pair of pants. Kara wasn’t sure if they were hers from previous sleepovers or Lena’s, but she threw them on anyway.

Just as she was about to leave, Lena stopped her. “Kara,” She started, still looking unsure as to what was happening, “Um… thanks. For last night, I mean.”

Kara’s tongue darted out to lick her dry lips and swallowed hard. “Yeah, of course.” She said with a soft smile and one hand on the door. “What are friends for?”

It wasn’t until Kara was out of the apartment and halfway down the hall that she realised that probably wasn’t the best thing to say.

\---

Lena _wasn’t_ sulking.

She was simply having an off day.

Kara had left her alone and confused that morning with the promise of bringing back coffee. But, she never came back. Instead, she sent Lena a message explaining that there was something she had forgotten to do. It was vague and Lena knew it was a lie. Yet, she didn't let that get in the way of her morning. Lena made her own coffee and attempted to get an early start on her college work.

 _Yet_.

She couldn't get what Kara had said that morning out of her head.

_What are friends for?_

The moment Kara had said that, Lena's mind just went blank. There was a second when she woke up that Lena forgot they were just friends. Friends that had spent hours fucking each other, but friends nonetheless. And Kara saying that just reaffirmed the fact that they would never be anything more.

So, no. Lena wasn't sulking. She was, simply put, heartbroken.

The worst thing about it in Lena's opinion was that she had done it to herself. She was the one who suggested helping Kara in the first place. She was the one who, even knowing the consequences, let Kara fuck her again. She was the one who fell in love with her best friend at sixteen years old and never stopped loving her since then.

Rather than actually dealing with the overwhelming emotions building up inside her, Lena just turned her phone off, avoided going into her bedroom and facing the mess they had created the night before and retreated to her kitchen with her laptop and textbooks.

That only lasted for about three hours before Sam came knocking at her door.

"Hey." Sam said, letting herself in. "I think I left my charger here last night."

Lena took in the other girl's appearance. Sam was wearing the same clothes she had on the night before and it made Lena think maybe she wasn't the only one who had a long night. "It'll probably be in the living room." Lena got up to help Sam search, checking the plug sockets scattered around the room. "Looks like you had fun last night." She commented, eyeing the dark hickey on Sam's neck and silently praising herself for wearing a hoodie that covered her _own_ marks.

Sam laughed and her hand shot up to where she knew Lena was looking. "Don't even start, I'm not one hundred percent sure where I ended up." She chuckled.

Lena rolled her eyes playfully. "You know, you really are a stereotypical frat boy."

"And what of it?" Sam replied, "I'm embracing my youth, living while I'm young, all of that bullshit."

Lena hummed in agreement. "I suppose we won't have much time for that when we graduate, huh?"

Sam let out a puff of air as she sat on the couch, clearly giving up her search for her charger. "You got that right." Sam glanced at Lena, studying her for a few seconds. "What's wrong with you?" She asked.

Lena stopped what she was doing. Was it that obvious? "What do you mean?" She replied, acting clueless.

Sam squinted her eyes. "You're acting weird."

In Lena's defence, she was rather tired, having stayed up very late. "I'm acting how I always act."

"Nope. Somethings definitely off." Sam continued. She looked at Lena with her head tilted as if trying to find a clue. "Did you have a fight with your mom?"

Lena considered lying, telling Sam that she did have a fight with her mother. But, a part of her didn't want to lie to Sam. A part of her needed someone to talk to.

"No." Lena answered. Telling someone meant facing reality and accepted that she completely fucked up.

"Lena," Sam said, her voice softer than before, "You can talk to me, you know that right?" She said it in a way Lena never would have expected from Sam. It was sincere and trusting.

Lena debated telling her everything. The only thing stopping her at that moment was how Kara would feel if she told Sam. Sure, Kara had come out, but that was her decision.

And maybe Lena was being selfish. But she needed to talk to someone about it before it got even harder than it already was.

"I slept with Kara."

Sam just stared at her for a second. "You slept with Kara?" She repeated.

"Twice."

Sam nodded her head with her eyebrows drawn together in thought. "You slept with Kara twice."

Lena tilted her head and sighed with frustration. "Do you wanna say it again or are you gonna help me?"

Sam eventually pulled herself out of thought and said "Okay, sorry." She started, "So you slept with Kara" Lena gave her a pointed look before continuing. "And now? Now what? What's the problem?" She asked, confused.

Lena let out a groan and covered her face with her hands, hating the fact that she was forcing herself to _actually_ talk about her feelings. "And now I can't be just friends with her. And she clearly doesn't feel the same."

Sam chuckled at that. "Lena, Kara literally had sex with you. You really think there's not the tiniest possibility that she feels the same?"

"She doesn't."

Sam rolled her eyes at Lena's instant reply. "And what makes you so sure?" Sam resorted and it made Lena laugh in bitterness to herself.

"Well," Lena started, "She literally said 'what are friends for' after everything happened." Lena tried not to think of the exact way Kara had said it to her, pushing away the hurt that was building up again in her chest.

"Oh…"

"Yeah."

Lena sighed and fell back against the couch. God. Dealing with your feelings wasn't really all it was hyped up to be. Lena almost felt worse now that she talked about it.

"Lena?" Sam said softly as if knowing how upset she was getting. "Do you think maybe Kara is feeling the exact same way as you?"

Hearing that made Lena's eyebrows draw together. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"Maybe she's scared of losing her best friend because of her feelings as well." Sam explained.

 _No_. Kara couldn't be acting the way she was because she also had feelings for Lena. She couldn't comprehend the idea of that.

Although, it did kind of make sense. Lena knew Kara was attracted to her that much was very clear, but attracted in a romantic way? She wasn't so sure.

"Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this…" Sam said, looking as though she was debating telling Lena whatever it was. "But Kara kinda freaked out with Nia this morning."

Now _that_ caught Lena's attention.

"She was panicking and told Nia that she didn't want to ruin your friendship with her feelings." Sam admitted, "That's all Kara said, she didn't mention you two having sex or anything else. Nia texted me about it a while before I got here."

Lena didn't know what to say.

Kara had feelings for her.

Lena could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She almost thought Sam was lying to her. Everything that Lena had been feeling suddenly felt lighter at the knowledge that Kara was feeling it to some degree as well.

"Are you sure that's what she said?" Lena asked, needing to know before she let herself fully believe.

Sam chuckled at Lena's complete turnaround in mood. "Yes, Lena." She said. "I think you need to go talk to her."

Lena nodded her head in agreement, only half registering what Sam had said and getting lost in the idea of actually _talking_ to Kara about it now. She had no idea what she was going to say or even if she should say something at all. No, that was stupid, Lena thought. She had to do something about it. If there was a chance that Kara felt even an inkling of what Lena felt, she knew she couldn't mess it up.

And that's how she found herself an hour later, standing outside Kara's door room, knowing full well Kara could hear her heart-rate from inside.

\---

The knock on the door startled Kara from her thoughts. She was usually good at focusing her hearing, never really being one to jump, but the entire day she had been distracted.

At the sound of a familiar heartbeat, Kara knew who it was. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.

"Lena…" She said, taking in the girl's appearance. Lena looked tired. Which was unsurprising. Kara probably looked similar. But there was something different about Lena as well. She looked almost determined.

"I need to talk to you." Lena's voice held a tone of anxiety.

Kara moved to the side, letting Lena in as she closed the door behind them. "Is Nia here?" She asked.

"No, she went back to Brainy's a while ago." Kara answered. "Is everything okay?"

That was probably stupid to ask, Kara realised as soon as she said it. Obviously things wouldn't be okay if Lena was standing in her room, looking scared and close to tears.

Lena had yet to say anything and just as Kara was about to ask what was wrong, she blurted out, "Do you have feelings for me?"

Kara's heart sank.

This is the part, Kara thought, that she was about to lose her best friend. She hadn't intended on telling Nia that morning. In fact, she had planned on ignoring everything. But as soon as she got back to her dorm, Kara broke down. Everything she was feeling, every emotion that Lena somehow seemed to draw from her was too overwhelming. And when Nia came to ask her what her problem was, she couldn't help but let the truth gush out.

"Lena, I…" Kara felt as though her throat was closing up.

"Please, Kara." Lena said desperately. "I need to know."

"Why? Why do you need to know? You promised that nothing would change between us." Kara choked out, trying to salvage their friendship. "So what if I have feelings, Lena. It doesn't have to make things differ-"

Lena shut her up by pressing their lips together. It was soft, probably the softest that they had ever kissed. And it made Kara want to cry.

"I need to know that I'm not alone in this." Lena whispered against her lips.

Kara pulled back, her eyes filling with tears. "What?" She asked as though she didn't hear Lena right.

"Kara, I've been in love with you since the day we met." Lena's voice was shaky and her cheeks were flushed.

Kara tried to process what Lena was saying. She was in love with her. _Lena Luthor_ loved her. No matter how many times those words filtered through her mind, Kara couldn't believe it.

"Really?" She asked, needing to hear it again.

Lena nodded her head. "I'm sorry I never told you."

Kara grabbed Lena's hand, pulling it closer to her chest for comfort. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realise that I'm in love with you too."

The confession made Lena capture Kara's lips between her own again and press hard against her. It was like she was trying to prove her love and Kara kissed her with just as much conviction.

"We're so stupid." Kara laughed out as she pulled back.

What a mess they must look, Kara thought. She had tears streaming down her face with red lips and a heart which was pounding faster than it ever had in her life.

"We really are." Lena agreed, her own eyes misty with tears.

"So, what now?" Kara asked. She knew exactly what she wanted to happen, but had to make sure Lena wanted the same.

With one final kiss, Lena pulled back and asked, "You wanna try this whole dating and committed thing people are always talking about?"

It made Kara suck her lip between her teeth in an attempt to stop herself from smiling too hard. "Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Lena?"

"If I was, would you say yes?"

"Yes." Kara answered, "But only if you take me to big belly burger."

Lena let out a loud laugh, her fingers going up to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen from her eyes. "Well then, grab your coat and let's go."

The next few days were spent cooped up in Lena's apartment, learning that basically nothing had changed between them except for the comfortable kisses they were now able to share whenever they wanted, the small I love you's that were said almost constantly and an ungodly amount of sex, all of which made them both wonder how on Earth they had gotten so lucky.

And when they eventually told Sam and Nia, it was followed by dramatic shouts of _finally_.

\---

_Four years later_

Lena sat nursing her drink at the bar, listening to the conversation around her. She had a long day of board meetings after board meetings, all of which consisted of overly entitled men, complaining about how she was the new CEO of LuthorCorp.

She sighed into her drink, pouring the last of it in her mouth and wincing at the cheap taste of it.  
Lena could hardly argue her point in the meetings. She herself was reluctant to take the title of CEO after Lex had almost completely destroyed the company name during his war against Superman.

Yet, she knew it was a chance to turn the company around. Make it better and promote _good_ instead of whatever the hell Lex and her mother had been doing.

Just as Lena was about to order another drink, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Hey, sorry there was a line at the bathroom. You ready to go?"

And just like that, all of her worries withered away at the simple sound of her girlfriend's voice. Lena glanced up at Kara's adoring smile.

God.

She could never get tired of that. "Yes, I cannot wait to finally get out of these heels when we get home."

Kara laughed and helped her out of her seat. "Want me to carry you home?" She joked at the same time as something caught her ear, drawing her attention away. "Hey, can you turn that up?" Kara asked, pointing towards the TV.

_"Flight 237 is experiencing some loss of altitude. The pilot seems to be circling the city after apparent engine failure."_

"Kara…"

"That's Alex's flight." Kara said in a panic.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Lena smiled. "It's time to put those powers to use."

Kara swallowed hard before nodding her head. The last thing Lena felt was a quick kiss on the cheek and suddenly, Kara was nowhere to be seen, leaving Lena with only a pair of glasses placed in the palm of her hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this mess!  
> Twitter: @notreallykara


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